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Burning My Last Bridges

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Just a week ago, I gave Scream Factory's Phantasm II SE Blu-ray a sound cock-lashing. To be fair, however, Shout Factory kinda' deserved it; that HD master is older than some of you probably reading this, and while I applaud them for creating a mountain of relevant bonus features, a crappy transfer is still a crappy transfer.

Was it actually upscaled? No, I'll give the devil his due and say that, while horrifically crumby, it was indeed an HD master, one that Universal must have minted at least a decade ago. Between the massive pasty DVNR and the total lack of anything resembling focus or image stablility, it may as well have been a DVD with lossless audio.

Because this is probably the only key art left I haven't thrown up yet.

That said, I am a reasonable man, and reasonable men pre-order the shit out of discs when the caps don't look terrible. THE BURNING is making the review circuit as we speak, with both HIGH DEF DIGEST and BLU-RAY.COM posting very enticing 1080p samples. I've thrown my $20 at Scream Factory for he privelage, and having spent more than that to see a vintage 35mm UK print at a local theater last October (which was promised "uncut" but was still missing two shots of the Raft Murder... *grumble-grumble*), I have no doubt that the quality of the BD presentation is going to be the best viewing I've ever had.

Scream Factory has done plenty of decent to fine work with HALLOWEEN III and FROM BEYOND. By all counts, they've done an equally great job with films that even they probably didn't care too much about (DEATH VALLEY says "hey"). When I say Phantasm II sucks monkey shit, I'm not doing it to troll or because I want unwashed neckbeards to call me one. It's because it actually sucks. It's entirely possible to hate a particular release from a label that happens to release the titles you want and still not hold a grudge or vendetta against them for everything else. As if I had enough energy left to start another holy war after burying what was left of Media Blaster's credibility... *ahem!*

Fun Fact: This should surprise no one, but just so we're clear, I don't get free shit. I don't even make money on Amazon links, or web traffic, or... anything. When I write about a disc, it's me wasting my own free time I could be spending playing video games or having sex with my wife or eating something covered in chocolate or, whatever, with no tangible reward. I do it because I care. Or I care enough to bitch about it. Whatever dude, you decide what to make of my own sense of self-worth.

The point is most people who say "This looks fantastic!" are, directly or not, getting freebies and/or kick-backs to do it. That doesn't make them bad people or their opinions invalid, but it does put pressure on them to look on the brighter side of things, particularly when we're talking about a relationship where one shitty review can screw them out of every concurrent title from that same studio. I'm not trying to get all high and mighty with what I do when I make poop jokes over an old HDCAM master, or suggest that home video review is a sham or anything overtly nefarious here - I just want there to be a little context into why I can sit here and bitch about a title looking "meh" and focusing on what went wrong - or more importantly, why it went wrong - even when the consensus might be that the disc is decent, if not perfect. I'm not paid to look on the bright side because, frankly, I'm not paid at all.

So, before anyone else decides they need to call me a dick-punch for... I dunno, having moderately high standards, I guess? The fact is I actually like Scream Factory. I think they usually do a fine job with the titles they pick up, and I'm legitimately excited that they're giving obscure and, at times, downright forgotten films their restored High Definition due, even if I don't want the majority of them personally. Their compression isn't the best in the industry, I admit, but it's not terrible either - Severin's current MPEG2 output is notably worse, as is pretty much anything 1080i Sentai's crapping out. The real problem is when they're handed a crappy master, they release a crappy product, because they don't see the need to make a new one from scratch - not when you can boost color and remove scratches for a fraction of the price, anyway!

It's sad that they won't pay to make a new transfer when the materials are actually that bad, but... well, what the fuck else are we going to expect? I'm sure the biggest Scream Factory titles hasn't sold more than a couple thousand copies on Blu-ray and DVD combined, and if the people who actually love Phantasm II are happy with the shitty transfer we saw, clearly the core demographic will take anything over nothing at all. I get it. It's sad, but that's exactly where the market is right now.

Oh, while we're on the subject of Scream Factory and it's sliding scale of greatness, SWAMP THING is coming soon and it's going to be the less tit-filled "Wes Craven Approved" USA Version, not the extended European version. I'd probably be more upset if... well y'know, if it wasn't fucking Wes Craven's Swamp Thing movie, a flick that's only particularly notable for the failed revival of the tie-in comics having led whackadoo Alan Moore to dump his unfiltered creativity in what DC saw as a corpse floating in the water, revitalizing the entire industry purely by accident. It was also the book that Rick Vetich got his ass fired for, and in a fit or rage he published The Brat Pack on his own, just to spite DC. You should really read that, world. Brat Pack is fuck'n awesome.

Where the fuck is this movie, Hollywood superhero machine?


Still, if jiggly bits are a deal breaker, save your money. If nothing else the footage should be included as a bonus feature, but I'm sure they're trying to keep that "PG" rating on the box without needing to plaster a bunch of "BONUS FEATURES CONTAIN UNRATED MATERIAL!!" boxes every which way. Arrow Video's also got this on tap, but there's so far no word on if they'll include all the mammaries either.

EDIT [5/17]: Dang! I've been informed by Arrow Video that they do not currently own the rights to SWAMP THING, which I can only chalk up to having mentally folded Shout's Factory's announcement into Arrow's own recent massive title list - sorry for that, guys! And, while I've got that on my mind, wow, I excited to see DERANGED uncut on BD!

Also, NINJA III: THE DOMINATION. Yeah. There's really nothing more to add, except holy shit, Ninja 3? On Blu-ray? In North America!? Sweet. Now, why the other two Sho Kosugi Ninja flicks - not to mention the goddamn BREAKIN' movies! - are currently only available on BD in Germany, I couldn't even begin to tell you.

But whatever. The Burning. The Mother Fucking BURNING comes out next week. Put your pre-orders in now, and pick up whatever Scream Factory titles you've been putting off up until now... odds are that's as good as that flick's ever going to get, regardless of which end of the spectrum that disc is on.

Part Man, Part Borg: MANBORG DVD vs BLU-RAY

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Sadly, it's not for sale (yet?), but THIS GUY apparently made it.
Go bug him about it - maybe he's working with Alamo Drafthouse?


Canadian genre-collective Astron-6's approach to no-budget, intentionally kitschy, and utterly guerrilla film making is the very definition of "Critic Proof". While I thought their first feature length schlock-epic to get a distribution deal, the Troma funded and distributed FATHER'S DAY, stretched the premise so thin it basically broke an hour in, I had nothing but respect for the absolute balls-out sense of humor and total dedication to tongue-in-cheek style over anything even resembling substance. Father's Day was a bad movie to be sure, but it clearly knew and absolutely reveled in the fact that it was a bad movie. I might not have been won over by their foray into literal Troma Films territory - particularly not after Jason Eisener's all but perfect HOBO WITH A SHOTGUN kind of closed the book on ever needing to revisit candy-colored 1980s splatter-movies - but everything about it convinced me that Astron-6 was just a little self-control away from something resembling, for lack of a better term, an Anti-Masterpiece.


MANBORG: OFFICIAL TRAILER

Technically Astron-6's first feature-length production, the 62 minute long 2011 feature MANBORG, which saw its first wide North American video release just one week ago, might be the Cinematic Anti-Masterpiece of the decade thus far. Shot, animated and rendered over the course of three years on an estimated budget of $1,000 Canadian entirely on green-screen, the result is like a hallucinatory fueled nightmare of 1980s Science Fiction as rendered by a Sega CD that runs on nostalgia and lulz. Stop motion machines, rubbery monsters, hover boards, neon lights, explosive violence, fake Aussie accents, Future Audio Casettes, full sized actors turned midget via forced perspective, arena free-for-alls, and zombie Nazi's from Hell litter the screen for just over an hour, hitting on a hundred great genre tropes and exiting stage left before the film can be anything but a mind-blowingly fun piece of stupidity steeped in two parts love and one part detached irony. This is the 21st century all-digital midway point between the legitimate masterworks of a young Peter Jackson and the hilariously inept schlock of Andreas Schnass in his prime. Director and general auteur Steven Kotansky clearly has a great grasp of post-production and physical effects, he just isn't afraid to waste it on goofball trash, which I think is a positive trait for a young group of amateurs who clearly love this material enough to ape its stylings and weaknesses to a beautiful fault, while still seeing what it is that made these sorts of films so appealing twenty and thirty years ago.

Talking about the actual movie itself is a waste of brain cells (and is sure to ruin some of the fun!), but what's most fascinating to me (and probably nobody else) is the fact that it's, basically, a schlocky remake of Kazuaki KIRIYA's 2004 CASSHERN movie. No, really! A young soldier on the front lines of Mankind's last great war is brought back to life by mad science in an effort to take down our new overlords, and in the end he's forced to accept that only the indomitable human spirit - something our hero is no longer convinced he still has - can save us all. I've just described both of these movies perfectly, and that's about all that really needs to be said, since the fun in both of these films is watching it unfold in the least predictable and most overtly memorable way possible.

The difference, of course, is that Casshern is a long, stuffy, pretentious attempt at humanizing the face of humanity through machines by way of turning humanity's last battle into a glittering fashion shoot that, momentarily, remembers it was supposed to be based on an anime about punch-fucking soviet machines, Manborg goes the opposite direction and just thought it'd be awesome if one of the bad guys from Star Trek: The Next Generation teamed up with Mortal Kombat: The Guy and Illiterate Australian and Hot Sister In A Shit Wig to beat up stop-motion demons on motorcycles in The Thunderdome. Without trying to sound condescending, the film's actual plot and execution look similar to what an energetic four year old with a box of unrelated action figures might come up with after downing his first espresso: It's full of its own logic that escapes everyone around him, but it's so damned compelling and full of explosions and things that make you try not to lulz all over yourself, all you can do is pick up a Thundercat and a Pokemon and join him.

Logic, continuity, and any concept of film criticism are all irrelevant here. Seriously, just look at this fucking box art and tell me what the ghost of Roger Ebert would say that wouldn't just be a noise you'd try to translate back into various question marks and exasperated hand-signals.


"What the hell am I supposed to... wait, you can actually hear me?!"
- Anonymous Ghost Review


MANBORG is exactly what you think it is, and if you can see the trailer and not instantly know if you'll love it or hate it... there's really nothing I can say to sway you either way. So, much to my chagrin, I actually bought this on DVD. For $10 I'm not about to bitch, it's just a bit surprising that Dark Sky would skip on even offering this title in HD! WVG Media in Germany has already released the film as MANBORG: RETTER DER ZUKUNFT ("Savior of the Future!") - leaving American fans high and dry for a 1080p release to go with their Father's Day limited edition combo pack. Thankfully, the wonder of The Internets allowed me to get my hands on the German import Blu-ray from WVG Media... that said, the results may surprise you. They sure surprised the hell out of me.

Let's start with the home team, so to speak. Dark Sky presents the film on an NTSC DVD with Dolby Digital stereo audio and optional English subtitles. The word "competent" springs to mind; there's really nothing special these days about any NTSC DVD with the threat of an 1080p Blu-ray looming over its shoulder, but the SD release looks perfectly fine for a DVD, if not particularly awe-inspiring. As is typically the case it's been low-pass filtered, which blurs color and leaves ringing on high contrast edges, but I'd be willing to bet the number of DVD releases without this encoding "process" can be counted on fingers and toes. While the disc is technically interlaced, there is no visible interlacing, and every 5th frame is repeated (rather than being a 24fps file that plays back at 30fps due to flagging) -obviously, it hasn't done anything to help the compression, but it's not deal breaker. Just a technical oddity most people will probably never  notice.


Half the cover promises that you can reverse it.
Only in the Father Land...

WVG's German import Blu-ray release sends off some red flags with mention on the box of it being a 1080i transfer - and a 1080i 25fps "PAL HD" one, at that. Another oddity is that while the German disc has a runtime of 62 minutes, the Dark Sky release has a runtime of 72! What the hell, right? Well, before we get into the technical disparities, we have to talk about the presentation itself. The German BD features just the film - it starts with the Raven Banner logo, plays Manborg proper, and once the film's over... well, the film's over and the disc goes back to the main menu.

The US release begins with a mock-VHS notice to "Stay tuned after the feature for upcoming titles!" slate, then you get the movie proper... and afterwards, you're treated to a 6 minute short called BIO-COP, a faux-Grindhouse style trailer for a movie that... well, I don't want to spoil the whole joke, but suffice to say BIO-COP is so great it kind of justifies picking up the R1 DVD all by itself. It's that fucking good. The other 3 or 4 minutes or so boil down to a bi-lingual English/French anti-piracy warning that starts out again feeling like a VHS relic, and quickly turns into a ridiculously long-winded tongue in cheek jab at how - and why - these laws exist exist in the first place.

In short, Manborg itself is identical in content in both Germany and North America, but the R1 DVD is the full fledged "VHS experience", and - considering the already ridiculous, intentionally silly nature of the feature - seems to be exactly how Astron-6 would want you to see it.

UPDATE: Thanks to spannick, who sent me THIS German language comparison between the German Blu-ray and the American DVD, which - as far as I know - didn't exist when most of this was written. As far as I can tell, the German Blu-ray/DVD release is the unedited 2011 version, while the American DVD is actually a brand new 2013 "Director's Cut" of the film with about 104 seconds of new material edited into it, even aside from BIO-COP and the Faux-VHS "Experience" material book-ending the DVD I did immediately recognize. Most of it is "Blink And You'll Miss It" easter egg fun - head explosions, complicated future doors, a Jumbo-Tron introduction, silly crap like that - but it does make me feel just a bit sheepish for assuming the two were exactly the same as opposted to almost the same.

Bonus features also differ, though both releases cover quite a bit of common ground. The US and German versions each feature a Behind the Scenes short, Deleted Scenes, Outtakes, and original trailers in NTSC and PAL, respectively. The US release ups the ante pretty quick by including two feature commentaries with the director (one solo and one with his co-horts), a Visual Effects Reel and Stop Motion Reel, a number of short interviews with the crew behind the film, a Film Premier Q and A Panel, and finally another short film, "Fantasy Beyond", which is a fun distraction for about 8 minutes to anyone with a forgiving boner towards low-budget claymation.

So! About that German Blu-ray, since - as nice as all those R1 bonus features sound - the transfer fidelity is really what I'm most interested in. For one thing, the German disc includes both English and German 5.1 DTS-HD Master Audio, which trounces the US release's Dolby Stereo track kind of by default. But why on earth is the transfer 1080i25? For that matter, does an HD master for a micro-budget schlock film shot in 2009 even exist? Well... the answer's complicated, so let me use screenshots to try and fill in the gaps.


REGION 1 DVD TOP, REGION B BLU-RAY BOTTOM




Alright, this establishes - just as a base line - that the German release WAS pulled from a 1080i HD master. The test is clearly sharper and cleaner on the Blu-ray cap, and this becomes substantially more dramatic on the ED credits. So the knee-jerk reaction would be - based on this comparison, at any rate - to import the Blu-ray, right? Sharper! Cleaner! HD, MOTHER FUCKERS!

Well... let's look a few more caps before y'all bum-rush Amazon Germany.





Well that... kinda looks like ass, doesn't it? You're probably thinking that's just a weird one off, but I'm sad to say that the German BD appears to be a 1080i30 > 1080i25 standards conversion. In other words, it's a High Definition NTSC to PAL conversion, with all the frame blending, interlacing and other related problems we expect from its SD counterparts. Oh, boy!





You'd think that if nothing else, the higher bandwidth of the "Faux HD" version would avoid compression and have better grain retention than its SD counterpart. You would be very wrong. As this comparison shows, the BD's blended, ghosted framerate conversion have oblitherated any hope of keeping resolution on any part of the screen that's in motion. The BD does have stronger resolution on totally static areas - like the opening titles! - but in every other way, it's either equal to, or even worse than, its American DVD counterpart.





As you can see, while the BD may have the slight advantage in compression, most of that effort is wasted on the fact that MANBORG appears to have been created almost exclusively from low-quality digital elements already rife with compression artifacts, banding, aliasing, chroma issues and other digital debauchery that I'd all but expect from a film made for what is, as I understand it, about the price of a McDonalds dinner for a family of five in Canada. Fuck it, let's do one more quick comparison and call this a day:





It's pretty safe to say that, with the odd exception of the graphic overlays for the opening and ending titles, MANBORG was shot on SD video. If it was shot in HD, I hate to tell them this, but there's literally no difference between the upscaled R1 DVD and the 1080i HD Blu-ray in terms of detail on any of the live action footage,  stop motion animation or CG VFX. Calling the Manborg BD an "Upscale" isn't quite true because, basically, it was a legit HD master created almost exclusively from SD materials, the same way a 35mm negative might be made from raw 16mm blow-ups. Does that make sense? And when you get down to it, should we consider the difference in the material's favor? The credits would be crisper on Blu-ray, but otherwise everything would pretty much look identical to what we have now, minor gains in compression and colorspace aside.

Having pulled the DVD transfer apart in AVISynth, I'm convinced a 1080p 24 HD master could be created based on whatever Astron-6 has in their possession. It wouldn't look good, exactly, but it could certainly be an improvement over the shoddy German presentation, who's sole positive attribute is lossless 5.1 audio - so, until a "perfect" release exists, we're caught between an SD rock and an HD hard place. I almost never say this, but under the circumstances I'd recommend anyone interested in the film pick up the Dark Sky DVD over the WMG Blu-ray; the "HD" transfer is really more problematic than it is an improvement over the DVD release, and the wealth of R1 exclusive bonus features outweigh anything I'd have to say about the German audio bump. Plus, it's ten fucking dollars. What else were you gonna do with that cash?

I can't defend the film any more than I can criticize it; Sometimes, a movie just is what it is, and it so happens that this one is glorious at being everything it wants to be and absolutely nothing else. I fully expect some of you to think I must wear a hockey helmet for recommending MANBORG, but it's cut from the same tongue in cheek cloth as the similarly fantastic FARCRY 3: BLOOD DRAGON, which was basically the best $15 I've spent in at least a year. While I'm sad that on the last comparison I made with an Astron-6 feature I'd say "get the other one", this time, I'd say get both. Totally worth the combined $25.

Phantasm Pains

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A couple weeks ago, I had some pretty unkind things to say about the Caps-A-Holic PHANTASM II Comparison, which left many people to wonder - myself included - if the fuzzy Scream Factory Blu-ray might have merely been a worked-over upscale of the older Anchor Bay UK master. As is my policy, I try not to assume the worst... but Shout Factory's releasing a massive number of Jackie Chan titles pulled from the same Digibeta upscales that have seen the rounds in Hong Kong, and I tend to get much less trusting when that shit starts to look even remotely acceptable.

Curious, I got a hold of the disc myself, and had many things to say... but the list is basically "Wow, this really sucks!", with one of my main complaints being a seriously nasty case of waxy DVNR. And in my defense, everything I saw with my own two eyes - the ultimate test, according to anyone who distrusts screenshots - was horrid.

As I may or may not have mentioned, the computer that I typically use to watch movies on recently got a clean install of a brand new OS - huzzah, it's 2013 and I'm finally running a 64-bit version of Windows! (This install is named "AMON".) This, naturally, includes a hundred installations just to get back to doing the things I do every day, like bitching incessantly about vigorously discussing DVD/Blu-ray transfers, and stealing downloading movies  porn. (Or did I have that second one right the first time?)

It also, incidentally, involved reinstalling video card drivers. The short version of where this is going is the current version of the drivers I need to power the hardware I've still got had different default settings between the previous and current installs I'd made. The result? Well, Blu-ray playback used my GPU - which is normal, and preferable for most applications. Most of the time I take screenshots using an AVISynth script reading a DGA file, so the Media Player Classic Home Cinema decode I use to watch movies never really enters into it. But, of course, the one day I look at something and decide to call it a puddle of piss, I'm not using AVISynth, mostly because I don't have my old filters back yet... you see where this is going?

Short version: My initial reaction to Scream Factory's PHANTASM II Blu-ray was one based on a heavily filtered playback due to some shenanigans going on behind the scenes of my video card. It was a dumb mistake, one I'm not liable to repeat again now that my install seems nice and stable, and it made me dump a ration of shit on a disc that didn't entirely deserve it. With that in mind, I can only offer Scream Factory, Cliff MacMillan, and anyone who actually cares what I have to say a sheepish apology...

...or, I can talk about the disc again! Think of it as a Restored Review, mastered in 2K from the original hand-scribbled notes I keep next to my monitor. It's not, but it's probably more fun if you assume it is.

First order of business, some proper screenshots:








Without going into full speed ahead review mode - I've got a dinner date with the wife, and I've already half-written a proper write-up on another disc from these guys I hope to post before the long weekend is over - the Shout Factory BD is "mostly okay". It's probably ten times nicer than what I saw the first time I popped this sucker into my computer, in any event. The image typically has a fairly neutral coating of grain that's adequately resolved, but Caps-A-Holic's comparison still shows that the leap from PAL's limited 576p to 1080p isn't nearly as great as I'd expect for a well-shot feature film from a director with more than a little experience. The color grading also still leans towards a ruddy, contrasty hue that doesn't look particularly natural, though it does paint many of the outdoor scenes in a faux-sunset look that I could easily see Coscarelli finding appealing, and turning off that Auto Contrast bullshit helped skin from looking like it was always ready to burst into flames (as opposed to doing that only where appropriate). It's fair to assume that what we're seeing is a slightly tweaked Universal catalog transfer from the better half of a decade ago, and while it's really no great shakes, I'd have been far less willing to assume Shout Factory was hustling me with an upscale if I'd seen the original transfer unmolested to start with. Mea culpa on that one, Shout Factory. If nothing else, this still looks quite a bit better than Image's fuzzy release RE-ANIMATOR or the sludgy DVNR nightmare that was THE WIZARD OF GORE.

That said... it's still a pretty "whatever" presentation, transfer wise. It's not bad, it's just not particularly good either. The blacks look crushed and gamma is weak, meaning the multitude of dark scenes are basically black holes with characters struggling to creep out of a dark pit of nothing. The print itself also judders around like the optical printer smoked a fat bag of crack before doing its thing, and is likely the result of a less than ideal 35mm source print getting a real-time HD telecine, which doesn't really having anything in the way of print stabilization. Mild trailing from (thankfully subtle) DVNR likely dating back to the master's creation hit a number of the brighter scenes, and try as I might, I still can't figure out what the hell that dancing digital static just below the 1.85:1 matte bar is supposed to b. All of this sounds like niggling, and it is really, but when all you can do is niggle about this being "eh" and that being "meh" and the other thing being "not terrible", what you're looking at is a mediocre transfer.

Look, let's be honest for a second here: Do I honestly think PHANTASM II is ever going to look better? Sadly, no. I honestly think it could look pretty impressive if Shout Factory had gone back to the 35mm OCN and done a proper 2K scan, getting those dark scenes graded properly and removing the constant tittering on what should clearly be more or less static shots, but it just isn't going to happen in this marketplace. Shout Factory got what they got, shrugged, did as much clean-up work as they could do without investing in a new scan and moved on to the next title. If you like this movie, the 35mm sourced workprint footage alone is worth the $20 it's selling for. If you're on the fence and want a strong transfer to sell you on the upgrade... I dunno' what to say. The disc is what it is, and while Shout Factory can - and has - done much better work, it isn't as bad as I'd initially feared.

There we go, I feel much better. Let's meet back here in a couple days and talk about another Scream Factory Collector's Edition, yeah?

Burning For You

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Before we get into the filthy specifics, let me first say that I'm thrilled to have THE BURNING on Blu-ray. As I've expressed before - many, many times I'm sure - while this was neither the earliest nor biggest grossing example of the early 1980s phenomenon that became known world wide as the "Slasher Movie", it might very well be one of the most perfect examples of what about them movie goers found so goddamn appealing in the first place. Released in the summer of 1981as the very first feature film to be published by the Weinstein Brothers' new company "Miramax", it's a totally shameless knock-off of the rampant success founded largely by Friday the 13th the previous year. The story of a deranged, disfigured madman picking off hapless summer campers - a trope so old the film itself even showcases one of the silly "campfire tales" that inspired it - was infused with the very real urban legends of a local killer in New Jersey at the period, which the locals nicknamed "Cropsey".

In a way, the fact that it sounds indistinguishable from any number of early 80s horror films is likely its secret weapon; it's difficult to name any especially great performances, despite being the first film to have a major role filled by either Jason Alexander and Holly Hunter. British born directed Tony Maylam (who's other credits largely consists of documentaries and TV shows) never worked in genre film again, and while the film is shot and paced competently enough, the slow-burn act building and teasing towards Cropsey's bloody acts of misguided vengeance is - in retrospect, at the very least - quite by the numbers. The real draw of the film is the combination of brutality and misanthropy that stains each and every bloody set piece, in which both Tom Savini's extreme but not yet parody minded gore and Rick "Yes" Wakeman's pulsating electronic score combine to create a wholly unsettling and gruesome experience.

While the "Raft Murder" is unquestionably the film's pinnacle of excess, it's a much more subtle moment about 6 minutes in that sets the stage for why this film works in a way that so many other, similar Friday the 13th imitators do not; as Cropsey walks the desolate streets upon his release from the hospital, the words of the doctor who took care of him - "I'm so sorry the skin grafts didn't take." - run through his mind, a mantra that almost justifies his bitter, spite driven spree of senseless violence. Our young hero is also somewhat atypical for the genre: Not only is he a teenaged boy, totally ignoring the "Final Girl" trope that was already somewhat the norm in slasher films, but he's also a depressed, awkward creep who spies on girls in the shower and arguably deserves the ribbing his bunk-mates give him. Even the adult hero who barges in on Cropsey's dilapidated hideout has a sin of his own to shoulder, but there's no cleart moment of him accepting responsibility or asking forgiveness. It also - more than any other slasher film I can think of (with the possible exception of the generally headier Sleepaway Camp) - deals in the taboo of murdering children. Yes, fine, it's a little hard to swallow that Jason Alexander's  furry gut would appear on a 16 year old, but the cast still combines older and younger actors with reckless abandon, and makes it very clear - explicitly, in the raft sequence - that the counselors are just as ripe for the picking as the campers themselves.

There is no identifiable moral compass in the world of The Burning, and it casts Cropsey's rampage in an unsteady light; Cropsey is no more a villain than he is the ultimate incarnation of his surroundings, dealing out a crimson torrent of spite, menace and violence back to a world that punished him, even though we never learn for sure if he deserved or not. In short, The Burning might not be the single most ambitious or technically polished of its ilk - I'd argue that later fare like Maniac, Sleepaway Camp and Stage Fright are better made and more interesting stories, even if they're slightly desonstructionist (and in some cases, campy) in tone, but The Burning still stands tall and proud beside its 1981 brothers My Bloody Valentine, The Prowler, and yes, even Friday the 13th Part 2 as a take-no-prisoners exercise in shameless, wanton misanthropy.



MGM has had financial difficulties for years now, and even filed for restructure-bankruptcy in 2010. They wound up releasing a number of titles on Blu-ray as far back as 2007 through 20th Century Fox while the dust settled, focusing on tent-pole franchises like the Bond films and genre-friendly cult films like Robocop and Return of the Living Dead. The genre titles eventually slowed to a crawl, and after a trio of horror films last October including The Texas Chainsaw Massacre Part 2, Killer Klowns From Outer Space and Jeepers Creepers, the announcements for genre films from MGM basically dried up completely. Oh sure, their Euro branches occasionally drops a surprise announcement - you can pick up both Breakin' flicks and two out of three of the Sho Kosugi Ninja movies in Germany, for some reason - but MGM US was done with that shit. Thankfully it was only a few more months until Shout Factory's horror centric label Scream Factory announced a number of MGM licenses, including Night of the Comet, The Howling, The Fog, and of course today's sample..

THE BURNING is one of the "Scream Factory Collector's Edition" titles, and comes packaged as a DVD + Blu-ray combo in a cardboard slipcover featuring newly commissioned artwork, and a reversible cover on the actual case with the vintage one-sheet key art underneath. Packaging is usually the least important aspect of a Blu-ray, but I find myself really enjoying the slightly surreal imagery of Cropsey's maw flowing with blood. It's one of Scream Factory's best efforts yet, and Nathan Thomas Miller - a regular staple of Horror Hound magazine - was a great choice for this title. You can see more of his work HERE, if the mood strikes you.

The transfer looks like the same uncut, 1.85:1 master the MGM DVD from 2007 was sourced from. This is, thankfully, more an observation rather than a complaint. Color is bright and vibrant on the sun baked summer camp scenes that dominate the first act, inky black but seemingly not crushed on the numerous night time shots, and while there is some minor judder and an almost regular minute "sparkle" of both black and white dust specs and subtle color flicker, there's really nothing to complain about; The Burning looks undeniably like organic celluloid, warts and all, and having seen the frustrating and inconsistent results a half-assed digital clean-up session can grant, we should be thrilled for it. Grain is beautifully resolved on top of the film's naturally soft focus, and the original mono soundtrack has never sounded better than it does here. Having seen a vintage, beautiful 35mm UK print back in October, I can confirm that this is not only exactly how The Burning is supposed to look - murky day-for-night scenes included - but that it's simply never looked better. Fans familiar with this nasty little exploitation film should be overjoyed, and newcomers alike have nothing to hold out for.

CAPS AHOY!













Audio is similarly presented as it always was, in a crisp, hiss free mono track presented as lossless DTS-HD MA 2.0. The fidelity couldn't be better for what it is, and while Wakeman's throbbing, bass heavy score might well have benefited from a remix more than many of the film's American contemporaries, I'll never be anything but thankful when I get the original audio mix, front and center.

To be fair, it's obviously not quite on par with the 4K restoration MGM showed on Rosemary's Baby last year in tandem with Criterion Collection, and the fact that it was pulled from an IP means it lacks a certain level of fidelity you'd find going back to the negative. The Burning could look marginally better if someone was willing to drop the massive expense on doing even a 2K scan of the negative, but I don't honestly expect this to happen, and the results we have now are certainly good enough that I'm not going to spend much more time wondering what could have been. In an alternate dimension where a film like this would sell 30,000 copies, then yes, maybe The Burning could have been a little nicer. In the real world, where a natural, unmolested transfer of a catalog transfer is about the best you can hope for, we got exactly what we were due. With this in mind the disc isn't quite up to the bar set by OCN transfers like Something Weird's Blood Feast, Arrow Video's Zombie Flesh Eaters, Midnight Legacy's Alien 2 and the "R-Rated" footage on Lionsgate's release of My Bloody Valentine, but the results are still far above average, and anyone with realistic expectations should be more than pleased.

The old MGM DVD's biggest blessing was inarguably the fact that it was the North American premier of the uncut version of the film (originally trimmed of its most famous sequence to avoid an "X" rating), but they did the film right enough by including the original trailer, just shy of 8 minutes of Tom Savini's personal behind-the-scenes home movies, and a feature commentary with director Tony Maylam plus a selection of production stills. All of these materials are ported over for the new Blu-ray release, as are the following brand new features:

CAST COMMENTARY - Shelly Bruce and Bonnie Deroski share memories of shooting the film.

HD PHOTO GALLERIES - Special Effects (2:25), Promotional Photos (3:05)

BLOOD 'N' FIRE MEMORIES (18:02) - Gore God Tom Savini talks about the special effects.

SLASH & CUT (12:05) - Editor Jack Shoulder talks about the raft scene, among others things.

CROPSEY SPEAKS (11:20) - Actor Lou David talks about his role as the film's memorable killer.

SUMMER CAMP NIGHTMARE (06:46) - Actress Leah Ayres speaks, 'cause why not?

With nothing in the way of extended workprints, canned sequels or bitter producer-director battles to argue over, the bonus content is limited to the nuts 'n' bolts making-of of the film, and I personally have no complaints. The stand-out here is, of course, Savini talking at length about how they made the still impressive practical gore effects, his dissatisfaction with Cropsey's (in my eyes, amazing!) head appliance, and jokes the whole way through about what a bright idea it was to bail on the Friday the 13th sequel because he thought making Jason Vorhees the "real" killer in the follow up was a terrible idea. Notably missing is any material from Elastigirl and George Castanza, but christ, anyone who expected them to give an interview about their non-central roles in a thirty-plus year old horror film that probably cost less than a million dollars was kidding themselves anyway. Amusingly enough, the trailer appears to have been carefully re-cut from the HD master, meaning the unique title shot and credits slate at the end is upscaled from SD. Savini's old behind-the-scenes footage have been upscaled to 1080i as well, though nobody with a working pair of eyes would ever mistake it for anything but consumer grade VHS.

Overall, Scream Factory's presentation of THE BURNING is great stuff, and I'm quite satisfied with my pre-order. Fans of vintage splatter who might be unfamiliar with this exceptional little flick should pick it up immediately, and anyone with a kinship to the film is only torturing themselves by not owning it.

Steel Demons

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Goddamn it, Don...


So, here's the deal: Our old pals Don May and Jerry Chandler purchased the rights to release Lamberto Bava's DEMONS/Demoni and DEMONS 2/Demoni 2, on Blu-ray through Synapse Films. For the time being they're only selling these two films as Limited Edition steelbook DVD+BD sets through their own website, and while they acknowledge that they might do a non-limited release later they currently aren't promising jack shit. They're planning to ship the finished product "by November", but promise they'll send them out as soon as they're ready, which - if Intruder was any indicator - may well be several weeks, maybe even a few months in advance.

It's not a typical pre-order, however. For one thing, they charge you NOW, now when the product is actually going to ship. Kind of unusual and... honestly, a bit of a dick move I think. Not sure if this is part of the grand plot to pre-pay Scanavo for the access to their delicious Steelbook technology or what, but it's something you can't exactly plan for - you either pay now, or pray it isn't sold out later. The other brow-raiser is the price tag: Each steelbook is $39.95 plus $6 shipping, which makes the whole set just under $92. For reference, anyone who pre-ordered the Arrow Video steelbook from last year literally paid less than half the price Don is asking for both films after the standard Amazon discount.


That said, not only is the packaging unique - both sides feature some amazing artwork, one an "all new" take by award winning horror specialist Wes Benscoter, the other a 'clean' version of the original poster art -  but the Blu-rays themselves stand to deliver an improved presentation when compared to Arrow Video's frustrating attempts. Both will be presented on BD-50s with, presumably, moderate-to-high bitrates encodes, and the first film will feature both the "American" dub as featured on the Arrow Video BD, as well as the "European" dub (which had been featured on every prior DVD release I'm aware of). The English audio on Arrow's release was "blah" at best, and their excuse for not including the alternate dub was even worse; even members of their notoriously positive Cult Labs forum poked holes in their defense saying that it's "impossible" to sync an alternate track to a new print by one of the members doing it himself in less than half an hour.

The press release promises 'all new' HD transfers, but as we've already established talking with Don May himself, it's the same initial 2K scan Arrow Video created with Cinetecca di Bologna plus some additional color-correction. That said, I've got no qualms with that approach; Arrow Video's final transfers had 99 problems, but their scan of the OCN [Original Camera Negative] ain't one.

The discs also have a host of brand new, and - for now, at least - exclusive bonus material in the form of five new interviews each, including director Lamberto Bava, producer Dario Argento, genre writer/director staple Luigi Cozzi, composer Simon Bowsell and several others. You guys know me, I'm starting to think we've reached the point where there's not many new stories left to tell about 25 year old genre films, but I certainly can't blame Synapse for trying to fill these discs to the gills for those who never tire of heaving these people reminisce on their most beloved works. I don't think I've actually watched more than a curious minute or two of any of the bonus features on the Arrow Video set yet, so as you can imagine the presence of new extras leaves me nonplussed more than anything. Truth be told I'm surprised there's no new commentary or any material with the first film's co-star Garetta Garetta, who was more than happy to show up for the 35mm screening I saw at the New Beverly not long ago, but I can't say their inclusion would have nudged my wanting this one way or the other either.

Oh yes, you also get a replica ticket with the first set. Not quite as cool as the Japanese DVD box set including a mini-replica of the Black Sunday mask, I admit, but it was a nice little gesture to make that bitter price tag go down just a bit smoother.

Honestly... I'm not sure what to do. The tins look pretty great. I do love the first film, and Arrow Video's release - while a marked improvement over the Anchor Bay DVDs in several areas - are a mess when it comes to color grading, compression and the English audio track which was, arguably I suppose, the "original" language track. Owning several Synapse releases, I have no doubt that these will be the "Ultimate Edition" presentations I've been longing for since I first laid eyes on Arrow's middling transfer work. I don't intend for this to be any sort of popularity contest, but simply put, Don's work basically speaks for itself. If you own Frankenhooker, The Dorm That Dripped Blood, Fairy in a Cage - heck, even that awesome 42nd Street Forever Blu-ray! - you already know that their work is consistently good, and that Synapse is more than capable of producing the finest presentation of the Demons films we're likely to ever see. Sick as I am of double-dipping films in general, much less from Blu-ray to Blu-ray, I want these sets, and damn the expense!

But still, $46 a piece? Christ, that makes even Twilight Time's $35 shipped price tag on titles like Christine seem pretty fair, and at least with those damnable things you aren't sitting there wondering if your somewhat sizeable price tag is going to be replaced a few months later by a reasonably-priced mass market version.

All we know for sure is that over 1/3 (or about 1,000 each) of these sets has already been bought by the public, and if these last more than a week I'll be shocked. Already I'm struggling to pull the trigger for one each - particularly when I remember what a damned slog Demons 2 is! - but the thought of doubling down and trying to flip a second set is borderline heart-breaking.

Flowering Evil

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In the seventh episode of The Flowers of Evil/惡の華, the currently airing adaptation of Shuzo OSHIMI's manga series of the same name, the show goes off the deep end by treating the teen-angst driven act of destruction as an almost religious experience. The sequence could easily the most beautiful thing I've seen in the last year, a moment out of time and space that neither looks like live action footage nor traditional animation, because... well, it's not quite either or. The entire series has been brought to life via rotoscoping, one of the oldest tricks in the animator's handbook, and while I myself had very mixed feelings about the process - particularly in the context of this show - the results that close episode 7 is one of the most awe-inspiring things I can remember. Without trying (or even needing to) explain how and why, anyone with a basic familiarity with animation should recognize how unusual and impressive this sequence is, and with it, for one glimmering moment in time, I felt all of my misgivings and disorientation with the show's unique visual style disappear. For the first time, I felt I finally understood what director Hiroshi NAGAHAMA saw in this unusual production method to begin with.

Episode 8 begins with a recap of the show's previous animated decadence... and then gives us a 6 minute scene in which two characters walk home at dawn. No dialog. No action. No deeper meaning that wasn't summed up in the first 30 seconds. I'm not exaggerating when I say "walking home in silence" compromised a third of the episode's content. Somewhere, David Lynch is holding his head in his hands and asking what the hell is going on, and he may or may not have even heard of the show. It's the single biggest act of professional trolling to the concept of animation actually being animated since the 24th broadcast episode of Neon Genesis Evangelion, and seeing as how that entire moment remained untouched even in the "final" presentation - the Evangelion: Death compilation movie - I've always interpreted that as the director willfully extending his middle finger in the middle of what was, up until that moment, a long-con experiment with animation styles paying off in what could be the single worst way possible. A friend of mine defended the sequence as a  perfectly sedate visual representation of what it's like to come down from a severe emotional high - can't say he doesn't have a point, but if that's the case, I'm still left chasing the dragon that ended episode 7.

That inconsistency, far more than the style itself, is what keeps me increasingly fascinated - and frustrated - with The Flowers of Evil. Mrs. Kentai calls the show awful, and I don't think that's entirely fair. Meanwhile the staff of Anime News Network gave the first episode almost universal praise, and I don't think that's quite right either. No, the show represents something unusual - something new, perhaps? - and there are absolutely properties and experiences in this show that make it stand out from basically every other piece of animation created up until this moment in history. That's a good thing. The problem is as much as I'm fascinated by the results - and the reason behind them in the first place - I'm not convinced the choice works as often as it fails. And it's that very real sense of frustration that's kept me from saying anything up until now about it: For the first time in years, I'm staring a piece of art in the face right as it's unfolding, and I'm so incredibly torn about how I feel I was afraid I'd say something I'd regret.

Rotoscoping - that is, tracing live action footage to create a more "lifelike" piece of animation - is typically used to heighten reality in situations of obvious unreality; the most fascinating examples of rotoscoped animation I'm aware of are Ralph Bakshi's late 70s productions, with my personal favorite - Fire and Ice - using rotoscoped animation to bring a level of nuance and surreal life to impossibly idealized fantasy archetypes designed by Frank Frazetta. But his first film to use the technique to its fullest was American Pop, an experimental film driven by the history of America's love of Rock 'n' Roll, and a film in which the actions of its cast work towards a final goal of being exciting and larger than life. American Pop might be unique, even in Banski's canon, but the rotoscoping was used specifically to boil down the swagger and over the top personality that its passionate cast of musicians are meant to embody. In Bakshi's case, rotosocping was a way to bring the nuance of reality to the realm of fantasy, be it the polished work found in the utterly mesmerising Weathertop battle sequence of Lord of the Rings, or the kinda-shitty, often jarringly low-tech tinted tracing of  the organ player in Wizards.

Particularly in the latter case, the rotoscoping was used solely as a means to cut-costs on what was quickly becoming an out of control production, but Bakshi recognized the unique, bizarre charms of the process and deemed it worth turning into an artform in its own right. Rotoscoping popped up in a number of pieces of experimental 80s animation, including the borderline legendary armor-donning sequence in the Taarna short that ends Heavy Metal, and the raucous, over the top punk rock vitality featured in the "Born to Raise Hell" musical number of Rock and Rule. Sometimes single shots of rotoscoping will pop up in otherwise traditional animation - including one of the strangest moments in Robot Carnival's "Red Neck and Chicken Man" segment, itself an ode to both Disney's Night on Bald Mountain and The Headless Horseman. Speaking of Disney, some of the running loops in 101 Dalmations were rotoscoped too, because fuck man, dogs are complicated!

In all of these cases, the technique was used to take the "real" movement of a human being and transpose it into a larger than life exaggeration - the point wasn't quite to mimic humanity, but to take the animation representation of it to new artistic heights. Granted, some people who spend more time mulling over animation theory than myself are ready to argue that rotoscoping is a cheap, lazy method to "fake" animation - even motion capture used by films created entirely out of CG renders can be considered rotoscoped, in a sense. It certainly rubbed Pixar the wrong way hard enough that, after the 2007 oscar nominations it was up against used the technique, they released their next film (Ratatouille) with the disclaimer "100% Pure Animation - No Motion Capture!" in place of the typical live action equivalent of no animals being harmed and blah-blah look I love animals and ASPCA's all right, but unless we're watching APOCALYPSE NOW! again I feel like we've reached that point where we can probably just assume that all animals on camera are being treated better than their human counterparts. Unless Von Trier's involved, I guess.

To trace all this back to The Flowers of Evil, the TV series is taking the tools created and honed by Bakshi and his contemporaries and doing something utterly drastic with them: Nagahama is using the creepy, Uncanny Valley qualities of the medium and turning it against its own audience. As I'm sure I've covered before (but can't remember when, so fuck it) the Uncanny Valley is a scientifically sound phenomenon where the closer to reality an artificial figure becomes - be it a CG render in a video game, a drawing traced from a photograph, or just an ordinary replicant come to murder your soul while you sleep with its unblinking eyes - the more those very subtle nuances that separate it from being a "real" person begin to freak us right the fuck out. Basically, it's the reason Real Dolls are more unsettling that GI Joe's - yeah, there's also that whole "lubricated orifices" wildcard to consider, but simply put, the fact that the former is meant to look realistic means we consciously realize how it doesn't. Comparatively speaking, a 12 inch figure with swivel joints and felt glued to his face just looks quaint and exaggerated.

On the off chance you've yet to see an episode of The Flowers of Evil, the show... looks like this:





Considering how amazingly... normal the original source manga looked, this fusion of 2D abstraction and unsettlingly real sense of perspective and body language are about the most traumatizing thing you'll see from Japan this side of Kanashimi no Belladonna. This being The Internet, most everyone who would have otherwise fallen into the target demographic for this bizarre anomoly took this as a personal offense and immediately got on YouTube to tell everyone how terrible the show was, even if they'd only seen a single screencap. I won't fault any of these people for this gut reaction, because I felt it too; even consciously knowing I was looking at something constructed to make me feel that way, I watched the entire first episode with one brow cocked and a grimmace on my face, wondering how the guy who directed Mushi-Shi and Detroit Metal City - two wildly different, but equally fascinating styles of traditional animation - could have made something so damned ugly!

And yet... that's kind of the whole point, I think. Shows in which attractive 2D characters deal with the trials and tribulations of secondary school are a dime a dozen, stretching into every potential demographic and genre possible - light drama, tragedy porn, zany sitcoms and everything in between. With this in mind, the omnipresence of "cute kids in school do something insubstantial for 20 minutes" card explains why The Flowers of Evil took such a drastic choice in its presentation; The Flowers of Evil isn't one of "those" shows. And I don't say that as a total dismissal, either - hell, I liked K-On!, and I thought

It's either pushing those audiences away, or kicking them in the pills and daring them to keep watching, depending on how you want to view director Nagahama's intentionally unattractive style. The air of grim filth continues into the rusting, rotten background pallets and often minimalist sound design that's not too dissimilar to the average methodically paced live action Japanese arthouse drama. With a few (intentionally) uncharacteristic visual flourishes in episode 5, the Flowers of Evil TV series eschews as many of the fantastic and vibrant comparisons of its contemporaries, and it does it specifically to make you fell slightly worse about yourself. The pacing, the ugly character designs, and the atypical, droning soundtrack all work together to create a thoroughly unpleasant, emotionally desolate atmosphere.

The most natural comparison one could make is probably A Scanner Darkly. Personally I expect others to make that connection, it seems obvious at first even, but reject it. Yes, both use rotoscoping as a way to unnerve and disorient the audience, but A Scanner Darkly itself is a science fiction story in which the very boundaries between reality and paranoia are constantly thrown into question.The Flowers of Evil is undeniably a story tied to the rejection of normalicy and psychopathic dissonance, but the universe this story takes place in is very much our own. It even gives us a place where it all happens (though not until much later on), quelling in part any question as to if this tale is set in "our" world or some fictionalized reality.

That said, the unpleasant atmosphere is... kind of inconsistent. As others far more experienced in these areas have pointed out, one of the biggest problems with this unique rotoscoped "look" is that, on medium and (especially) far shots, characters become all but indiscernible with essentially no recognizable features. For a show with a distinctly pointed focus on characterization - for all intents and purposes, there's exactly three lead personalities and their development is the only thing the show has to offer - literally turning your protagonist into an indistinct blob isn't helping. The fact that Nakamura has a different hair color than the other two characters almost feels like it's cheating, but - to be fair, that was true in the manga as well, and its' reasonably neutral, cute art style doesn't have any of the problems with consistency its adaptation does.

Another oddity was the fact that the first two episodes of the TV series feature Kasuga actually reading poems by Baudelaire himself. It's an interesting idea, using Kasuga's inspiration to fuse with the original material... but it stops suddenly and never re-appears, despite his continued lionization of Baudelaire. I don't mind an adaptation bringing relevant art into the fray, but to start it and then not go back to the idea feels like a bit of a cop-out... or maybe Baudelaire isn't nearly as relevant to this new original work's story as its own hero seems to think it is?


If this were the only issue with the show's presentation I wouldn't be so upset with it, but the above cap was chosen for a reason: That intentionally chosen screenshot above is from the rage-inducing scene that opens episode 8, and is literally six minutes straight of scrawled, vaguely humanoid blobs walking hand in hand in total silence as the sun rises. As another professional in this area is quick to point out, the very nature of rotoscoping is boiling "real" action down to its base elements in a way that's simpler and thus faster for the brain to interpret, and while this pacing might seem more natural in a live action drama, seeing it rotoscoped with that same methodical, slow-as-a-slug pacing sometimes on material that's literally a single background for several seconds at a time, just feels cheap and ugly by comparison. Pacing in film is an art, not a science, and I won't claim that what's done here is wrong, but the fact that I'm willing to compare it to the now legendary dick-move of animation trolling committed nearly 20 years ago in Evangelion should say something about how unusual it is.

I won't pretend I know Baudelaire from a hole in my ass - the reading in the first two episodes of his  poetry is the first I've heard of it, and knowing how I tend to hate older romance-language translation cadence I'll probably never get much else out of it anyway - but if there's one thing I'm all too familiar with, it's the hopelessness of adolescence, and how latching onto something that sounds world-shattering and smartly adult can change your whole outlook on the world. Suddenly life isn't a coursing cesspool of raging hormones, emotional retardation and intellectual boredom; you become something better, something more intelligent and worthwhile that the sacks of worthless meat around you. You become - through no lack of having anything else to compare yourself to - an individual. You wrap yourself in that knowledge, in that fascination, that fetish only you know about and you use it to convince yourself you're better, that you'll leave this aching, disgusting world of ordinary people and become something better than your own life. This is an almost universal reaction because it's as much societal as it is chemical. The wishy-washy definition of what decisions are and aren't acceptable for adolescents to make are a bitch like that.


As a teen, you're more often than not pretentious asshole who doesn't actually know shit about shit, and to whom the act of growing up and accepting that you aren't what you think you are is the most grotesque, painful, and humiliating thing you'll ever know. Most people who watched the first episode of The Flowers of Evil didn't know this yet, but the whole show is about tearing those illusions down to ashes and bones, showing you how uninteresting and common you really are. The Flowers of Evil is amazing because it's about facing all the pain, all the frustration, and all the hopelessness that entails. It isn't pretty, and the show is designed from the ground on up to make that material as aesthetically ugly as humanly possible.

Truth be told, there's another reason I love it, and that's the delicious way in which it's completely destroyed the typical tropes of  late 90s/early 00s ero-anime tropes, particularly those cemented by the Pink Pineapple/Elf "Oyaji Trilogy" that began with Isaku. The following paragraph is going to contain some spoilers, since I can't actually explain what about this show I like properly without using an actual example. If you haven't seen episode 7 yet, consider skipping this next bit, and come back when the text returns to normal:

Just before the scene that so enamoured me, there's a wonderful exchange between the blackmailer Nakamura - who wants the antihero Kasuga to remove his mask and show the whole world the dark monster lurking within him - in which she reveals the only way to atone for his "sin" is to own it, and expose himself as the heinous, perverted shit-worm that they both know he is. Kasuga breaks down and begs her to just let him go back to his normal, awkward, uninteresting life... and and Nakamura loses hope. She - and I'm paraphrasing, to a degree at least - looks Kasuga in the eye and tells him "I was wrong about you. You just wanted sex... like everyone else. What a disappointment."

To clarify this, Nakamura isn't anti-sex, not exactly - she was eager to hear from both sides after he went to Saeki's house to (she assumed) fuck her brains out, and hope to piece together another side of Kasuga's true self, whatever that may be. She's just against the coddling, simplistic desires that drive everyone around her to be satisfied with normal, shallow happiness - something she herself is unable to feel due to traumas never fully explained, and thus rejects as being anything but a manufactured fantasy. Her torture and abuse - almost all of it emotional in nature - is to draw out whatever true deviant lurks beneath the bland face of a normal young teenager; sex itself isn't perverse, it's normal, thus sex itself means nothing to her. It literally took the rhythm and escalating gratuity perfected by Shuusaku - basically, the pornographic equivalent to a shitty slasher movie - and made it about everything but sex. Some people see this as a cop-out. I see it as a work of the original author's understanding of those underlying universal themes, which - in turn - were used to create shows like Shuusaku in the first place.

She wanted to see something violent. Something depraved. Something shocking. She thought it all meant something... and it's this realization that Kasuga can't run from his own desires that catalyses the beautiful, transformative release that affirmed my love for this unusual series, and fully reveals the core idea of The Flowers of Evil: That only by accepting those unpleasant realities we hide from ourselves will we ever be free to feel anything beyond the trite realities of puppy love and undefined teen angst. It's certainly a simplified, fatalistic notion - but it's one Nakamura firmly believes in, and even now as I draw ever closer to my third decade alive, it's not one I'm entirely convinced is without merit.


I'd go on - I'd love to talk about why I think Nakamura is so drawn to Kasuga, - but that would be spoiling volumes of the manga not yet available through official channels, and at this rate, the TV series will never get to that moment of clarity anyway. As of this writing, episode 10 has aired and been simulcast on Crunchy Roll, with 13 episodes promised in total. (Sentai Filmworks has already announced the North American home video/digital rights, but there's no firm date set beyond "2013", and no confirmation of a Blu-ray either.) Without getting into major spoiler territory, I'll say that the first 33 chapters of the original Flowers of Evil manga tell a beautiful tragedy from start to finish; the fact that the author keeps going, however, is a tragedy unto itself, at least if everything up through chapter 45 is any indication. At the glacial pace the anime adaptation has chosen, there's simply no way it'll get to the end of Kasuga and Nakamura's story proper - we'll get to a big, shocking moment I'm sure - the adaptation would be a bit of a waste if it didn't get there - but not to the end itself.

I'm slightly sad knowing that the show's refusal to create anything marketable, no pop singles, no "cute" character designs to make figures from, nothing that would convince anyone but the most die-hard of manga fans [or wholly atypical anime fans] to spend exorbitant amounts on merchandise and super-expensive import Blu-rays... in short, there's no way in hell we're getting a second season. Much like Shigurui, we're going to get a literal adaptation of part of the story, and that's all we're going to get. Maybe once the TV series is over we'll have a chance to go over what might have been, to say nothing of what will happen in the 11th hour [which is, all things considered, where most of the show's "HOLY SHI-" moments are going to be found].

In short, The Flowers of Evil is a triumph more for its ghastly reflection of dark, youthful ignorance than it is for its stilted animation or occasionally awkward pacing, but in a frustrating way both of those flaws solely exist to prop up the ugly, honest fascination of self-loathing and distorted notions of romanticism the story has to deliver. If the idea interests you but the art style keeps it at arms length - something I myself struggled with for a while - I'd not hesitate to recommend the manga, which is available up to volume 6 through Vertical in North America, with volume 7 due in October. All of the self-hatred, none of the awkward sliding-scale in art quality and pacing frustrations. Whatever medium you choose, buckle up... it likely going to be both much better, and less fun than you're expecting it to be.

Arise of the Import

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Well... this was unexpected.

GHOST IN THE SHELL: ARISE/攻殻機動隊 ARISE , a three part OVA series with the first episode seeing a Japanese DVD/Blu-ray release on July 26th, seems like the sort of spin-off that most people will probably like, yet nobody actually asked for. Major Motoko KUSANAGI is all but legendary in both the anime fandom and even the broader Science Fiction community - a smart, hard-as-nails and sexy of the future who dabbles in brain-hacking to keep a world safe in which the boundary between man and machine has meant anything for several generations. Mamoru OSHII's 1995 internationally co-produced animated film remains a landmark for one-of-a-kind visual splendor and fascinatingly relevant pre-internet introspection about the nature of the all but inevitable digital future, and Kenji KAMIYAMA's 2002 "Stand Alone Complex" TV series - and its 2004 direct sequel, "2nd Gig" - is every bit as good as its predocessor, if in a completely different format and style. GITS's original format, a free-form cyberpunk thriller written and rendered by Masamune SHIROW, is arguably the most cohesive version of the story proper, but it's safe to say that both of the visionaries behind the adaptations took everything positive about Shirow's world and only expanded upon it, focusing more on the questions he himself didn't feel fully comfortable answering and leaving the creator to literally fetishise the technology behind it all.

Oshii's feature length sequel, INNOCENCE, and Kamiyama's "SOLID STATE SOCIETY - a somewhat pretentious arthouse experiment and a feature-length TV movie meant to tie up loose ends, respectively - aren't anywhere near as good as the material that spawned them, but they're certainly interesting enough as works of visual art and social commentary when judged solely on their own merits. Perhaps the less said about the two "Compilation Movies" based on the TV series, the better; I can't say if they're bad or not, never having seen them, but I feel the relevancy of abridged versions of TV shows basically died with VHS, and the fact that these are the only versions of the show currently available on Blu-ray in North America remains a travesty.

Vacuum sealed latex catsuits were basically Shirow's idea of "Casual Friday".

By all counts, the footage released and the talent on display for ARISE looks pretty good. The only question left is... well, who the hell actually wanted a prequel in which we see a green and vulnerable Motoko learning the ropes with Security Section 9? Part of Motoko's appeal was that she was at the top of her game, a merciless and seasoned god on the battle-field with the smarts to back up every decision she made... her only real weakness was her curiosity, a philosophical quandary about the nature of who "she" really was as a human brain encased in a synthetic, immortal body. It's entirely possible that ARISE will be a worthy successor to the name, but it's fascinating that with all the (occasionally) interesting discussion of underwhelming and non-existent female heroes in the geek subculture, we're finally getting one of them literally being disempowered just to continue the series another 150 minutes... then again, our heroine is seemingly far less sexualized here than Shirow's borderline fetish-porn art design ever was, so whether or not this is an improvement from any cohesively feminist point of view is certainly up for further discussion.

Anyway, the real story here is that FUNimation is going to be selling imported Blu-rays for the first time. They've announced an allotment of 2,500 copies of the Limited Edition JP release of the first OVA, which is already English subtitled. The JP release is selling for a list price of 6,800 Yen/$71.70, so it's assumed that FUNi will be selling this import at roughly the same price. They've at least confirmed that, much like the Aniplex of America release of the Rurouni Kenshin OVAs, they'll include the Japanese first-press bonus packaging, which includes an o-sleeve slipcover, 35mm film strip and a [translated] booklet. FUNimation has at least made it explicitly clear that this is going to be released up-front as a collector's item, and a more typical bi-lingual release at (surely) a lower price point will come out later on.

Arise, my die-cut O-ringed beauty! 
...seriously, that is pretty damn cool.

While this is all technically uncharted territory, I seriously doubt this is going to become a regular thing with FUNimation. I wouldn't be surprised if the rights to this franchise are so draped in corporate Red Tape that Aniplex wasn't sure they'd even be able to release the series Stateside without the [unofficially defunct] Manga Entertainment company acting as the middle-man, and I similarly wouldn't be surprised if FUNimation was doing this solely as a way of "proving" to Bandai Visual that the majority of Americans just aren't ready to spend more than $60 on less than an hour of entertainment. I admit I don't have any direct access to who made these decisions or what they thought they meant, but if I had to guess I'd think that Bandai Visual Japan sees this as "Market Research" while FUNimation sees this as "Pleasing Everyone Possible" - both their constitutes in Japan for not cheaping the market with a simultaneous-but-cheaper North American release, as well as the small number of American fans who were willing to drop serious coin on a brand new GITS OVA to have it now, rather than wait a year or two and get it for half the price.

I hate to say it, but I'm going to sit this one out for the time being. I have my doubts that FUNimation's "limit" of 2,500 is going to sell out overnight, and even if it did there would be little to prevent me from importing the non-limited JP release, minus the pack-in goodies. Keep in mind that $70 gets you exactly one episode, which means the full 2.5 hour ARISE experience will cost a little over $200! There's plenty of anime titles I'd at least consider dropping that kind of cash for, but a three part OVA I've never seen, explaining the backstory I never asked for to a franchise I think has already peaked - twice?!

Sorry guys, but I'm happy to sit on the sidelines until FUNimation is ready to release this at a price point that doesn't make my wallet wither and curl up like a cold testicle. That said, I literally just threw $100 at FUNi a couple weeks ago, and fuck knows how much more I'll bleed for at Anime Expo next month. Make no mistake, I'm eager enough to see if this prequel pans out to be any good or not, I'm just not stoked at the idea of spending nearly the price of a goddamn 3DS to do it with.

The EIRIN Goes Berserk

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I've been pretty quiet about the BERSERK: THE GOLDEN AGE ARC/ベルセルク 黄金時代篇 film trilogy up until this point. Truth be told I've held off on watching them until all three films were available, partly because I didn't want to torture myself with waiting a year and change to see the next one, and partly because... well, the trailer footage left me unsure if I wanted to watch the film at all.

Kentaro MIURA's now 24 year old Berserk manga is a powerhouse of of character building, realistic pseudo-European dark ages fantasy, and shocking horror, with a total of 38 collected volumes so far - and, to this day, no end in sight. This very specific combination propels the Golden Age into one of the most memorable and unusual experiences available in Japanese comics out there. It was adapted as one of the very first "otaku" shows in 1997 by Oriental Light and Magic, an experiment that pushed the boundaries of violence and sexuality on basic broadcast in an industry that had just been up-ended by surprising mainstream break-outs like Neon Genesis Evangelion and Revolutionary Girl Utena. The 25 episode BERSERK: 剣風伝奇ベルセルク TV  series was certainly extraordinary for its time - a gorgeously designed, phenomenally cast and scored adaptation of the manga that focused on the character development more than the fantastic and horrific elements of the original source material - but the sudden, explicitly grotesque final episode that left many seemingly important details unexplained left non-Japanese audiences with the worst case of storytelling blue-balls this side of The Sopranos.

I had started reading fan translations of the Golden Age perhaps six months before Dark Horse picked up the rights to the North American market, and started their unusually expensive English run in 2004. While I was interested in reading the continuing adventures of Guts, Caska and that little fairy looking thing - and felt just morally obligated enough to not keep stealing it, once I'd satisfied my curiosity to discover what I had "missed" by way of the TV series. Sadly, even Dark Horse's own aggressive publishing schedule wouldn't get up to the end of the Golden Age until some time in 2007, a period when I was mostly broke and the thought of spending $15 per book of something I knew had been running for nearly 20 years (and thus was no small investment) just wasn't on my personal radar, much as I wish it could have been. Of course now that I'm not filthy-poor and want to not only read the rest of it, but share the glorious Golden Age books with my wife, I'm faced with the grim reality that the earlier volumes are all but impossible to find for anywhere close to cover price... man, how time flies.

Digibook enthusiasts are recommended to look across the pond.

The Berserk: Golden Age trilogy is a series of animated theatrical films covering (roughly books 4 to 16 of Miura's original manga. Minor spoilers in the scheme of things will be covered in the following paragraph, so if you want to know as little as possible, just skip the red text below:

The films film, THE EGG OF THE KING, covers from Guts' battle with Bazuso the Bear Slayer to the assassination of Count Julius. The second film, THE TAKING OF DOLDREY, covers from Guts' battle with Adon Corbolwitz' battalion to Guts leaving the Band of the Hawk, and Griffith being imprisoned for treason. The final film, DESCENT, opens with Guts' reuniting with the weary Band of the Hawk to rescue Griffith, and ends with "The Eclipse" and the immediate aftermath as he accepts his new role as the Apostle Slayer.

While even the TV show felt occasionally rushed at 25 weekly half-hour episodes, the these three films average out roughly 4 hours and 45 minutes, all three films having a common opening sequence, a preview for the next two movies and inordinately long credit sequences, the actual "content" can't be more than 4 hours total (or roughly half as much runtime as the TV adaptation). With this in mind, many concessions to the original material had to be made, and while many of them are present thematically (if nothing else), some of the deleted content does change the tone and scope - if not the focus - of the story. Guts' tragic past as an orphan raised by an abusive, violent mercenary is barely paid lip service in a vague flashback, the lengths to which Griffith would go to in order to fund his dream are never properly explained, and the Queen of Midland simply doesn't exist in the trilogy's universe, boiling the complicated politics and dual-nature of Griffiths' emerging spot in high society somewhat less interesting.

There are a number of lines and brief images that fans of the material will likely recognize, but if the Golden Age trilogy is your first introduction to the franchise there's going to be a lot of questions left unanswered. Perhaps the biggest problem, however, is the limited development that the Band of the Hawk gets outside of the three leads of Guts, Caska and Griffith: Judeau, Corkuss, Gaston, Pippin and Rickert are all present and accounted for, but they just don't get enough screen time to matter nearly as much as they should, particularly with the harrowing events that close the story arc. Guts' blacksmith Godo never makes an appearance (though his daughter does!?), and neither the villainous Wyald nor the unnamed human general who took his place in the TV show ever make an appearance - a shame, as he serves as a sort of Final Boss before the God Hand shows up. The new films do feature Skull Knight, a rather central figure in the final hours of the Golden Age, as well as cameos by Serpicio and Farnese, who aren't important in this particular part of the story but become fairly major players later on. Puck the Wind spirit also makes a brief appearance, as does Silat the Kushan warrior in a more impressive battle-sequence that ends in a stalemate, but won't impact the story for some time to come.

What's that? Guts on Titan? I'd be fine with this being the fourth movie...

If the only sin these films had committed was being a Cliff Notes version of Berserk, I'd be merciful by default: Adapting Berserk in anything less than a limitless number of hour-long TV episodes (particularly 20+ years worth of manga material later) was always going to be problematic. The larger issue is the focus on digital animation techniques, including a new and theoretically exciting combination of CG renders and 2D elements, fusing traditionally animated character designs and 3D elements that would have been to complex to reliably animate by hand. In a very real way this is the future of animation, combining the superior tactics of different mediums to create a seamless whole... but goddamn, the technique just ain't there yet. In the same way that The Black Cauldron and Golgo 13: The Professional had to get the ball rolling with CG in the first place, Berserk: The Golden Age is going to be remembered as one of the first franchises to literally stretch 2D animation on top of 3D models to create some at times mesmerisingly fascinating results.

Unfortunately, the results fail just as often as they work, if not more. It's easy enough to forget that, for example, Nosferatu Zodd is an entirely 3D character with the intentionally jerky, textured movement, but the 3D soldiers on the "epic" battlefields that open the first film are painfully stuff and almost infuriatingly sloppy looking. The result is an epic scope that looks distractingly poor next to the almost non-animated slideshows of the TV series, and the fact that the quality of the CG will shift from above average to well below it  in the same exact scene only serve to underscore how not ready for the responsibility Japanese production methods are in 2013. To this day, the best CG feature to come out of Japan is Final Fantasy VII: Advent Children, and if this trilogy looked even half that good I'd be more forgiving of its aims; certain scenes, particularly the lengthy battle in the second film in which Guts takes on a hundred men, really do look better than they should. Unfortunately the consistency is so hit or miss that if bad CG pisses you off, I'm hesitant to recommend this as the way to introduce yourself to Miura's world. Director Toshiyuki KUBOOKA has come primarily from a video game background, and seeing the massive, epic scale combined with the middling quality of actual animation and attention to detail, I'm not particularly surprised.

The first film in the Golden Age trilogy is by far the weakest of the three, trying to boil down several years into a about two reels, and focusing on ugly CG battles instead of relevant character development. As an adaptation it's serviceable, at best, but as a film on its own merits it's a bloody mess. The second film is far more competent on all levels, focusing on a single period of time and upping the action ante by focusing on the medieval warfare and political back-stabbing without being forced to try and explain complicated backstories or introduce elements of Lovecraftian-Barker horror. The second film is one dwarf short of lapping Game of Thrones at its own tricks, and suggests that Kobooka knew what he was doing after all.



As for the third film... well, the third film is where this gets really interesting. For one thing it's - by far, in my eyes at least - the best of the three films, but we'll discuss it in detail another day. I want to compare a few details to the original manga and TV versions before making any detailed or definitive judgment on what it does and doesn't do properly, I walked away from this film absolutely enthralled, horrified and disgusted. Which is a good thing, considering the pitch black material it covers.

Despite the first two films being drenched in gore, frontal nudity, child abuse and even lengthy graphic sex scenes, they both escaped the EIRIN - that is, the Japanese equivalent to the MPAA - with "PG-12" certificates. Friends will know I was already crossing my arms and glaring at this news, but aside from ignoring Miura's shocking depiction of child rape, the first two films were surprisingly true to their source material, brutal violence and brazen sexuality included. When the teaser for the third film hit, however, it promised an R-18 rating - and, yes, that is literally the equivalent to an NC-17, which has since become used primarily for Hollywood films and Pink Eiga rather than films actually produced for the Japanese market (with the exception of oddities like Miike's Ichi the Killer,  and Sato's Love and Loathing). The later, expanded trailers carried an R-15 certificate, and it wasn't until the solicitations for the recently released Japanese Blu-ray surfaced that we knew the full story...

Since we're discussing the end of a recently released film, I'm going to spoiler tag the rest of this entry. Yes, this was material written in the mid 90s and released - as a TV series - on DVD world-wide over a decade ago, but some of you might be discovering the series for the first time, or - perhaps like myself - you DO know the score and you're just curious how "The Feast" plays out in the new adaptation. In any case, the following text is going to be spoiler-filled... it's also going to get, really, really rapey all up in here. I know y'all reading this are grown ups and stuff - I mean, I say "fuckshit" and "pussyfart" all the time and you're pretty cool with it - but... well, this is adapting one of the single most traumatizing pieces of fiction I've ever encountered, and it's so over the top they had to edit it FOR JAPAN. If that doesn't ring a few potential warning bells, I don't really know what would. So consider yourself warned; lots of monster cock is on its way.

Before we get into this, I can confirm that the runtime for the "Special Version" (R-18) and the "Theatrical Version" (R-15) are exactly the same. The R-18 cut runs 01:47:48, while the R-15 cut runs 01:52:28. For one thing, after we see Guts as the Black Swordsman walk towards the camera, the R-18 cut simply fades to black, and then cuts to the WB logo. The R-15 cut fades to black, and then says "THIS IS ONLY THE BEGINNING" [in English] and then cuts to an exclusive 5 minute music video - though exactly what the song is, I'm not certain. It's all still images, clips from the first two movies and a few new pieces of animation including a lone wolf wandering the fields. It's cool, I guess, but totally superfluous.

The real difference between the R-15 and the R-18 versions are a number of alternate cuts that run through the final minutes of The Eclipse - for the most part the R-18 version is visibly more explicit, but one shot in particular is actually more visible on the censored version! I spotted 11 shots that were re-animated/censored for the theatrical version, and I'll post both time-codes and lengths, to give you an idea how different the two versions are.

Ideally, Viz will release both cuts whenever they get their chance to release the film sometime next year, but if worse comes to worse, at least you can all make a properly informed choice on if only having one cut is a personal deal-breaker.

Last goddamn chance, people: It's about to get really rapey up in here.


01:23:38 -01:23:42
Femto (Griffith) molests Caska's breasts and crotch.
Theatrical version darkens the bottom of the screen.




01:23:46 - 01:24:50
Close-up of tentacles spreading Caska's legs as Griffith continues rubbing Caska's crotch.
Theatrical version darkens the shot and zooms it in so you can't really see anything.





01:23:55 -  01:23:58
Far shot of Griffith molesting Caska's crotch.
Purple fog extended around Caska and Griffith on theatrical version.




01:24:47 - 01:24:50
Griffith penetrates Caska.
Theatrical version de-focuses/shakes the camera, and darkens the fog.




01:24:52 - 01:24:54
Griffith continues penetrating Caska as Guts struggles.
Black fog added over Caska and Griffith's bodies.




01:25:06 - 01:25:09
Pan-shot of Griffith continuing to rape Caska.
Black fog added to the right side of the theatrical version.




01:25:33 - 01:25:34
Close-up of Griffith's penis and Caska's rump.
Darkened on theatrical version, but just barely visible on uncensored version.




01:26:50 - 01:26:52
Griffith rapes Caska from behind as Apostles hold Guts on the ground.
Dark fog layer added to Theatrical version around Griffith and Caska.




01:26:58 - 01:27:00
Another close-up of Griffith's penis.
Darkened on theatrical version again.




01:27:12 - 01:27:15
Guts' POV of Griffith raping Caska as his eye is punctured by a demon.
Blur effect added to the UNCENSORED version - this time, the R-15 cut is actually less obscured!




01:27:22 - 01:27:24
One last shot of Griffith's penis before he drops Caska.
Darkened in the theatrical version, again.




Amazingly enough, the shot at 01:27:35 in which we see Griffith's sperm dripping out of Caska's body is identical in both versions. I didn't spot any differences in all of the shots where Guts is hacking off his own broken arm, either, which is easily the most disgusting act of dismemberment in what's basically a non-stop orgy of bodily destruction.


R-15 APPROVED!





As I've said, the ideal solution for all releases going forward would be to include both cuts of the film, but if I had to choose one the "Special Version" would be it. It's clearly the final, raw, uncompromising version of the cinematic equivalent to being force-fed a razor blade and feces cupcake, and with Berserk as a story being an experiment with extremes, this seems like the only logical way to view the film. That said, the theatrical compromise is surprisingly good on its own terms; the censorship is far less blatant than it could have been, and the only overly distracting shots in it are the shot of Caska's legs being spread, and the obnoxiously icky close-ups of Femto's demon cock. [Assuming, of course, that I didn't blatantly miss any additional instances of censorship in my side-by-side viewing.] I'll also point out that the film version completely removes the scenes of the demons stripping Caska and preparing her to be "Sacrificed" to a large, blade-faced beetle monster, which remains one of the most upsetting and lengthy fake-outs in Miura's original comics. Considering Wyald was basically a walking rape dispenser and the Midland King tried to rape his own daughter in the manga, that's saying something.

These censored shots might look more glaring to someone less jaded by several years of "intentional" Pink Eiga optical censorship, but as 4C went out of their way to censor shots where you literally couldn't see a damned thing and then somehow left the above moments intact... well, some of it has to be an intentional "Fuck You!" to the EIRIN's demands that sex and violence remain intact, but sexual violence - even in the context of a story that presents the act of rape as the ultimate betrayal - is simply the line. It is bizarre that one instance is actually less visible on the uncensored version, but as we're seeing Guts' POV as his eye is literally being punctured... yeah, it seems more like an artistic decision than anything else.

And... that's all I got. I meant to talk about goddamn Man of Steel, but c'mon. You guys needed this way more than whatever opinion I have about the latest Superman movie.

Let Me AX You Something...

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So yeah. Anime Expo was pretty goddamn cool - and is also totally convent excuse as to why I haven't posted in forever! Sweet.

For one thing, an old online friend of mine - one who's actually been heavily into anime for longer than I have - got the chance to visit for the week in Meatspace, and we hit up some local nerdery hobbles and had all sorts of delicious take-out and generally had a grand ol' time. Too bad we didn't think to buy booze until the last day, but with us getting out at around midnight and then waking up at 7 the next day as it was, it probably would have been more counter-productive than we'd hope it would be, anyway. Good times were had by all, far as I can tell, and I do hope I'll get a chance to have him over again next year.



I didn't go to any of the "premiers", but with most of those essentially being titles long since leaked to the internets with a fresh dub I have little to no interest in, the only one I actually regret missing was the English subtitled world-premier of the firts ever crowd-funded OVA, KICK HEART. My friend managed to get there, and said it was a fantastic experience - far more impressive in motion than the stills would suggest, and the only real downer was the fact that they wound up playing the entire 45 minute making-of (for a 15 minute project) PLUS a giant promo reel for Studio I.G, evidently by mistake, not leaving any room for director to go over what an unusual piece it was. He did leave with a very special piece of director Masaaki YUASA crafted art, and while it's a shame my schedule didn't quite line up to see it for myself, I'm glad to hear it was everything it could have been and so much more.



The highlight for me, you'll surely understand, was the chance to meet Toshio MAEDA, infamous "Tentacle Master" and creator of both 淫獣学園 La☆Blue Girl and 超神伝説うろつき童子 / UROTSUKIDOJI: LEGEND OF THE OVERFIEND manga. While, true, I fell in love with the OVAs that were very loosely based on Maeda's original comics, I later discovered the originals which had their own unique style and aesthetic that do a fine job of complimenting the wildly differing adaptations - one isn't inherently "better" than the other, they're just drastically different takes on the same broad ideas. Maeda is in no uncertain terms the man who created the universe of the Choujin, the sexually charged and violently spiritual concept that helped set me on a lifetime of fascination with both extreme exploitation films and animation as a means of pure artistic expression, and while I certainly tried, there's nothing I could ever do to truly thank him for having had such an impact on me.

I did, however, commission an original sketch from the man - for a fee as high as he'd ask for, I find no shame in admitting - and when we'd discussed the terms and the price, he asked me to write it down: "So you wanted: Akemi, with tentacle rape. Penetration visible, fully X-rated." He then turned to my wife, hiding behind me and beet red, and began to tell her "It's okay you know, there are actually a lot of women who enjoy this erotic material - even when it's shocking." I just smiled and told him she has been a big fan of La Blue Girl for years, and we were only asking for Akemi because it looked like everyone else had already requested Miiko. I was even lucky enough to get the Urotsukidoji LD BOX insert I've owned for a few years signed, as well as an inexpensive full color print that's ripe for framing right in the living room.

At that point I was thrilled to go to his panel, and it may be the most inspiringly honest, no-bullshit interview I've ever seen. He talked about the fact that his current wife didn't care about his legacy as the creator of tentacle rape pornography, but probably never would have given him the time of day if she'd known he was originally from Osaka. He was perfectly honest about not being a fan of manga and anime himself, preferring old Hollywood movies and even jokingly telling his son that manga's a waste of time. When someone asked him a stupid question ("What would you give up for the power to grow tentacles?"), he'd give a fitting answer ("Sorry, I don't speak English!"). He revealed that the animation crew behind Urotsukidoji was the same staff that handled the Gundam TV series, but used fake names to protect their identities from being ruined with the mainstream. He talked about how he always considered himself a child of American pop culture, particularly television and comics, and was surprised that his work seemed so amazingly foreign to most Americans.

And, yes, when he asked a young black man in the audience if the rumors about "his people" having large genitals were true, and the audience roared with laughter, he looked around shocked and asked us all: "What? I didn't say the N-word! I am a decent man!" See? It doesn't even matter what you did on the Fourth of July. Mine was the best.

Sunday was even better, as Maeda was willing to take a handful of fans - my wife, my good friend and I included - on a journey to a local steak house to eat, drink and be merry. We did just that, talked about everything from the American school system to the difference between Mexicans and Mexican-Americans, the difference between religion and morality, how devastating the car accident that had forced him to retire for a long period had been, and yes, what a swindling asshole Uchuu Senkan Yamoto producer Yoshinobu NISHIZAKI was.We even discussed eating pussy, and I made a joke that had him laughing so hard I thought he'd bust a gut. Maeda speaks very good English, has a fantastic sense of humor and a charming level of brutal honesty, I couldn't be happier that the man who helped shape me into the creepy erotic-grotesque obsessed bastard that I am today is actually a cool, fun, perfectly normal guy who just reads John Grisham novels in his spare time between drawing paradoxically impossible rape-fantasies to pay his rent. (So, no, he wasn't directly inspired by the Cthulhu Mythos. He says he doesn't even like zombie movies, and always looks away during the scary bits... go figure.) Toshio Maeda is a wonderful person, an exceptional talent, and I'm thrilled I got to spend as much quality time with him as I did. The wife and I even made a few new friends at the table! Good times all around, and I couldn't have asked for a better way to cap off the convention.

And, for those curious, here's MAEDA'S WEBSITE. You can pay about $6.50 to get access to damn near everything in the tenticular style he's drawn for a month (though for obvious reasons his "political" and even kids mangas are owned by different publishers). Considering how fucking amazing his work is, and how little he seemingly has to show for it after he lost everything in a major accident a few years back, your 650 yen would indeed be a good deed towards a good man.

Tentacle Master aside, I had quite a bit of fun. The food trucks out front were something; Jogasaki's world famous Sushi Burrito was pretty damned tasty, but left me sick as a dog the next day. The Maine Brothers Lobster Roll was also a surprising addition and, being a New Englander by birth, it was nice to get a fresh, cool bite of underwater Lovecraftian Horrorbug with just a hint of mayo after a year and a half of brain-burritos and elastic noodles being my daily dietary staples. Probably the nicest surprise was the Super Boba truck that had the strongest goddamn iced green tea I've ever tasted, but just enough diabetes-catalyzing sugar and pomegranate syrup to make licking a tea bag sound like the best fucking idea on the planet.

Cosplayers, naturally, ran the gambit from "Aw, that's cute that they tried..." to "HOLY SHIT that's the best [insert character] possible" to "...goddamn it, now I can't look at Link and not get a boner anymore." Mrs. Kentai is quite a seamstress herself, so she's always skulking about with an over-priced camera looking for particularly well made costumes, and will utterly ignore even the most gorgeous of cosplayers if their work wasn't up to snuff. It's one of the reasons I love her, truly. I am a little sad I didn't get a photo of one particular entrant, though; without trying to sound any more like a pedophile than usual, a young lady who showed up on Saturday with what I can only assume was her parents dressed as a bloodied Vegeta may have been the most amazing costume on the floor, and I'm incredibly disappointed she disappeared into the throng of unwashed otaku before I had photographic evidence of it. Vegeta Girl, you were awesome, and if you're reading this... well, you probably shouldn't be anywhere near the Kentai Blog to begin with. But I guess I was mainlining Maeda OVAs at 14, so I'm not one to judge who does and doesn't look over explicit Berserk comparisons, now am I?


Just so y'all know, I'd be lying if I didn't say that this guy was the star of the show:


So... THIS the hit show of 2013? Really?
You're sure about this one, internet? Alright...

We went to several panels, though Maeda's obviously stole the show. My friend was quite satisfied with the Makoto SHINKAI Q&A - apparently he was into it, discussing the process for his animation and even the symbolism behind it all, but having always found his movies to be a bit of a dull slog I decided to go play arcade games instead. Mike Toole's Dubs that Time Forgot covered some fun, obscure nonsense including the Toei produced WILD SWANS film, Sanrio's delightful looking Greek mythology rock-opera THE WINDS OF CHANGE, and even had a rarely seen promo reel for ROCKY JOE, an aborted English dub of the classic Ashita no Joe TV series that was reportedly killed off when the localization team got wind of how the TV show ended. (SPOILER ALERT: It's one of the single most iconic images in anime. Even if you don't know what it means, you do know how Ashita no Joe ends.) There was a panel called Ero-Manga: The Good, The Bad and the WTF that turned out to be a charmingly educational basic course on the history, styles and range of fap material available in Japan. It covered a wide range of artists, even paying attention to artists like John K. Peter, Horihone SAIZO and even Waita UZIGA. Truth be told I knew most of what the panel had to cover, but I suppose having run around in the same circles as the guys who actually had those artists' scanned and translated in the first place, I'm probably far more experienced and jaded than I tend to assume I am. Whatever the case, the gentleman* in the neon Goth-Loli gear who ran the panel was refreshingly amusing, really had his shit together and was, above all else, treating the material with the respect it deserved: Whoever you were, good sir, I salute you.

*When I say "gentleman" I'm merely assuming the neon Goth-Loli gear was a festive occasion choice - then again this is Southern California, and I'd be lying id I said I hadn't seen more unusual fashion choices around.

As for what I spent most of my time doing... well, hell, you guys know me. I'm a collector at heart, and after throwing more dollar bills at Maeda than I could keep track of a good chunk of my time was spent either getting bumped out of panels or being too fucking exhausted to care, at which point I'd simply go back to the Exhibit Hall and spend more money. At this point I don't even remember everything I and my wife bought; the Pile of Toys has mushroomed pretty hard (particularly on the Wifey's side...), but I'll go over the surprise highlights and leave it at that for now:



* Region 1 DVD copies of GUNBUSTER 2: DIEBUSTER, MAD BULL 34 and CASSHAN: ROBOT HUNTER ('93). Discotek is, sadly, about the only table that sells titles for more or less the same price you'll find them for online after shipping, so they were the only ones I threw cash at for home video releases. If Viz, FUNimation or Sentai Filmworks/Section 23 wants me to drop coin at their booth, they can at least pretend to be competitive with Amazon and TRSI.

Seriously guys, Discotek kicks ass and they only up the ante every year. GO BUY SOMETHING. C'mon now, they've gotta be losing their shirt on re-doing the subtitled original version of Samurai Pizza Cats. Yes, really, the subtitled version of a show people only even know exists because of it's absurd English dub! Why did they even bother to release the subtitled Cat-Ninden Teyandee version? Because they're just that cool.


* While not "mine", technically, I did stand in line for over an hour as a tap-out to help my wife get an exclusive Madoka Nendoroid - THIS little cutie pie, to be specific. What's cool is she's an event exclusive, but they're actually releasing her world-wide at the same time in Japan, North America and China. She also got THIS BEAUTY, but that's... another story. I have mixed feelings about skipping the Maiko Miku Nendo, particularly once sell-outs completely cock blocked my Link and Samus Figma sexiness, but we own so goddamn many things with that cute little bitch I guess I can let this one slip past.



* SUPER ROBOT CHOGOKIN: Shin Mazinger Z. I spent way too much on this one, but the product is pretty goddamn awesome so, whatever.  The world of die cast robots is a new one on me, and I honestly don't know if I can go back to plastic for my big honkin' kaijuu punching fun after this. Just wish I hadn't literally seen it the next day for twenty bucks cheaper...

I also picked up a set of Tamashii figure stands for an okay price, so my Megaman toys are at last able to stand without blue tack on their oversize feet. Finally, Mega can pew-pew-pew without falling over!


* A 12"~ tall black-and-white Kenshiro figure.. which I can't even find a photo for. Don't get too excited, it's not the Real Action Hero figure or anything - it's copy-written to SEGA 2003, so I assume it's a forgotten run of UFO crane toys and only cost someone 500 yen and some patience. But it's a pretty cool looking figure, and well worth the $15 I paid for it.




* "Devilman Lady Cyber Figure". Yes, really, it's a goddamn talking Devilman Lady alarm clock from 1999. For $30, I couldn't say no, though I am a little pissed that the box suggests I'm missing a remote control for it. Yes, a remote controlled Go Nagai alarm clock. If I'd known it was incomplete I may have been a shit and tried to talk them down, but for something this shockingly absurd I'm still pretty satisfied.


* Three NHK circle ero-doujinshi featuring artwork by NEWMEN. For those of you unfamiliar with Newmen, go read his SECRET PLOT books and come back when you've mopped up your own shame. I was thrilled just to see more filthy Newmen pr0n, but the fact that one of those books was a hardcore Dominion (ie: "Tank Police") book went from "Wow, this is a cool surprise..." to "FUCKING HELL, WHERE'S THE ATM?! HOLY SHIT, SERIOUSLY? A $5 TRANSACTION FEE? ...WHATEVER!"



* DBOX. What's more fun than unlicensed porno fan-comics? Unlicensed and horrendously lazy foreign reprints OF unlicensed porno fan-comics! Yeah, this is exactly what it looks like and somehow even worse, and is especially notable just because of his hilariously shitty the whole thing is; some French publisher went to Japan in the mid-90s, picked up all the late Cell/early Buu era doujinshi they could find and then reprinted them without giving a half a shit if they'd get slapped on the wrist or not. There's no fake copyright, no table of contents, no translation - yes, the book published IN FRANCE is still in Japanese! - no blank pages at the front and back of the book to keep the cover from getting all stained by the ink, the page numbers in the corners are based on whatever the original books had, there's zero consistency between art styles, the very first story is a weird Dragon Ball cross-over with I don't even fucking know what, sometimes creator notes are included and other times they're not, everything's cropped to fit the same weird sized page... it's kind of awesome. Plus it's got Gohan X Piccolo buttsex. How was that alone not worth $20?


* REVOLTECH - QUEEN'S BLADE: Sigui (1P Version). For $20, brand new! Christ, I'm surprised I didn't buy two. If they'd had the 2P version I'd be tempted to swap the underwear bits to my ultimate preference, so it's... probably for the best that they didn't. I should not own more than one of each of these figures, particularly not at the prices some of them have been selling for.




* Devilman Polystone Bust Collection Vol. 2. A gorgeously sculpted and okay-painted lump of pure Body-Horror released in 2005, it was available at a stand offering a BOGO sale, which in turn justified the purchase of a different 1/7th figure (which is, for better or worse, another story). It was marked at $40 while the "big" figure was $100, which means we either got this one free or we each got them for $50 - justify it however you like.

Either way I'm absolutely in love with the nasty concept of Devilman literally shredding out of Akira FUDOU, and I'm only disappointed that American eBay resellers have the other Polystone busts listed at outrageous prices starting at $100. Guys, c'mon; these actually sold in the US for $50 a pop through Diamond Comics Distribution. I get the concept of after-market mark up, but when somehow it's cheaper to buy them through YAJ with all deputy and shipping fees accounted for, you're probably doing it wrong.


I'm sure I'm forgetting a hundred little things - stories, purchases, anecdotes and so much more - but for the time being, it's nice to have one last day off to see my friend home and chill the fuck out before I plow back into work head-first. Anime Expo was a blast period, but the fact that I actually got to hang out and have dinner with the man who created something that touched me so deeply (and in so many crevasses!) was a once in a life time experience. Thank you, Toshio Maeda. And yes, thank you, Anime Expo. It's been one hell of a weekend.

Also, by far my favorite non-Maeda quote of the weekend: "Unico is Best Pony." Amen to that, sister, amen to that.

I Will Finish What Was Started.

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Last Week: Hung out with Toshio MAEDA.

Tomorrow: I fight alongside The Protomen.

Sunday: Totally getting my Pacific Rim on.



I REFUSE to say it myself.
You all know what this means.

Don't wait up, kids. Daddy's gonna be busy for a while.

Go Nagai Holy Trinity GET!

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Pictured: The best surprise I've had in ages.

As of yesterday, Discotek announced the 1972 DEVILMAN/デビルマン TV series was joining their DVD line-up alongside the previously announced CUTIE HONEY and MAZINGER Z sets. These titles are easily the three most famous and influential pieces of the Nagaiverse, and I couldn't be happier that the trio are finally due for an as-of-yet pinned down US premier. None of these titles have even been fansubbed past the first few episodes - not last time I bothered to check, at any rate - and with Go Nagai's less than chipper attitude towards how American publishers treated his comics in the early 90s, I wasn't convinced we'd ever see them in English.

Discotek/Eastern Star has spent the last few years slowly and surely become the only studio specializing in vintage R1 anime releases, and the fact that they now own basically all the early 70s Go Nagai anime has me nothing short of thrilled. These guys are absolutely worth throwing money at, so if anything they've ever done looks worth the plunge, GO AND GET IT NOW. Don''t be shy, unlike a lot of block-headed labels Discotek always prices their stuff at their official site to be more or less even to what major retailers are selling it for. They need that extra 50 cents more than Amazon does anyway, and with most other sites ordering from the publisher in batches anyway, why not skip the middle man?

Seriously, go buy their DVDs. For the love of Futanari Satan, if so much as one of those titles gets cancelled I'm opening a rift straight to Hell myself and watching all of humanity burn in the bloody waves of Nagai's Apocalypse. Try me, maggots of the human ra-- *Ahem* So, yeah. Pretty goddamn excited about Devilman TV getting picked up. As always, refer to Animetal USA for all that really needs to be said.

But it's not all Adam West-esque violence over at Discotek! They've made a number of equally surprising announcements, and while some of these I knew were in the works, a couple of them slapped me out of left field just as hard as everyone else:



* JIN-ROH: THE WOLF BRIGADE/人狼 is going to get a reasonably priced US release to finally replace the insanely expensive stand-alone US release, which has reportedly been so limited and desired by competitions that it's sold for over $1,000 USD.

The "International" release had a pretty massive window-boxing issue, but otherwise was a top notch effort that looked very similar to the 35mm print I was lucky enough to see several years ago; if this new disc is essentially the same thing at a fraction of the price, nobody will have an excuse not to own this tragic masterpiece.



* CARD CAPTOR SAKURA: THE MOVIE/劇場版カードキャプターさくら is an interesting announcement, to say the least. Card Captor Sakura was the show that convinced me that you can find fantastic stories in the most unexpected places, and while the first movie is just one of those stand alone, only semi-canonical side stories that most popular long-running anime TV shows get eventually,  it's cute and exciting enough to justify picking up on its own, even if you aren't familiar with the manga or TV series proper. Discotek has already confirmed a Blu-ray, and I have little doubt it'll be an adorable demo disc, if nothing else.

It feels... odd that we're getting the first movie announced but not the TV series, doesn't it?



* Mamoru Oshii's DALLOS/ダロス is typically considered the very first OVA series ever made, and even had an English dub made back in the late 1980s, yet it hasn't seen a US release since the VHS days for one reason or another.

I've always been curious to see this early piece of Oshii's animated history, and an officially subtitled DVD sounds like a decent place to do it. Sadly, I don't think this has ever been remastered, so much like Discotek's CRYING FREEMAN and MAD BULL 34 DVDs, it'll probably look about as good as the old analog materials will allow it to.



* LILY-C.A.T. couldn't be any more 1980s if it had A Flock of Seagulls haircut and a neon green keytaur and a "Where's The Beef?" t-shirt. Combining ALIEN/S, TERMINATOR and THE THING into a claustrophobic horror one-shot OVA about - SPOILER ALERT, highlight to find out...

Sentient robot cats. Yes, fucking robot cats.

Still, I'd hesitate to call anything that Streamline picked up back in the day outright bad - that was more Central Park Media's thing at the time - and only being familiar with this monstrosity's infamy I'd be lying if I said I wasn't curious to an almost painful degree. Every year Discotek seems to get closer to closing the door on the Streamline catalog, and if this brings up one step closer to finally having a proper Vampire Hunter D release, or even those bizarre "Tales of the Wolf" episodes of Lupin III, I'll buy two.



* G.T.O - GREAT TEACHER ONIZUKA/グレート・ティーチャー・オニヅカ feels to me like it came out a lifetime ago now, but any show that has a punk kid grow up to become a combination of Robin Williams from Dead Poets Society and James Dean in pretty much goddamn anything can't be all bad... especially not when he cracks jokes about Doraemon out one side of his mouth and Kenshiro out the other.

This was released by Tokyopop about a decade ago as singles first, then a pair of box sets, and has laid dormant since.  Not a title I'd have expected to see re-released in 2013, but not one I'm going to grumble about either.



* BLUE SUBMARINE NO. 6/青の6号 is getting a Blu-ray release to mirror the JP BOX that came out a year or two ago. I've confirmed with Discotek that we'll be getting the same Q-TEC upscale as the Japanese set, which is pretty "meh" as far as these things go, having an unnaturally filtered look to it not unlike FLCL.

Sadly, as a fellow video nerd friend of mine pointed out, odds are a Gonzo produced OVA series from 15 years probably wouldn't look very good at 1080p no matter what upscaling method was used, so while the bizarre smeared edges and ringing artifacts aren't ideal, it's not like we got it instead of anything perfect. It is what it is and odds are even a "better" upscale wouldn't please everyone, though that doesn't make Q-TEC's reliance on warp-sharpening style filters any less... weird.


A shame Discotek never hosts any convention panels or appears on podcasts or anything like that; the titles they announce through the magic of Facebook are some of the biggest legitimate surprises in what little remains of the US home video market, and every time they announce a list of new titles it's like stumbling across a cache of forgotten Christmas presents. Sure, some of them are socks or something else that isn't the best thing ever, but it's all cool stuff, and you don't really expect or demand any on it... it's just awesome when it happens.

Keep it up, Discotek. Do more Blu-ray releases, but otherwise stay the damn course.

Regular Shit

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REGULAR SHOW is a great little cartoon series, and is - oddly enough - the closest thing to a successor to Beavis & Butthead I've seen in the 21st century. No, not in the laughing at dick-puns sense, but in that the real draw of the show is watching this world-weary friendship between a pair of socially awkward nerds who have been together for so damn long they're not even sure why they became friends, but they're close enough at this point that they aren't willing to part ways.

While Mordecai and Rigby's begrudged friendship are the show's most valuable asset, the show is better known for its high levels of 80s nostalgia and bizarre, probably inappropriate for children sense of humor that focuses on everything from unicorn bodily fluids to scenes of the show's two heroes getting just drunk enough to order incredibly dumb things on the internet. It's also chock full of thinly veiled references to films by Stanley Kubrick and Dario Argento, like so:

"BEWARE THE DEWEY DEATHIMAL SYSTEM!"

With all of that in mind, and the fact that Cartoon Network is backing a show that may as well be this decade's iteration of Rocko's Modern Life, it's not all that shocking that the show's oddly naturalistic focus on dialog and bullshitting with friends would, occasionally, lead to language that - while not outright South Park style cussing - leans a bit more blue than the average CN series not found on [adult swim]. Comes with the territory of making cartoons about that bizarre, awkward period when you've moved out and are holding down a job and are identified as an "adult", but the concept of responsibility and accountability still haven't settled in, and you assume it's some kind of permanent summer vacation until reality kicks you in the balls. Granted, for this show "reality" involves giant arcade bosses come to life, wieners in revolt and audits on reality itself, but that's... why it's on Cartoon Network, I suppose.

Unfortunately, it's been confirmed by a number of Blu-ray.com posters that the new "Complete Season 1 + 2" set has censored several episodes in a way that, conveniently enough, may also explain why the promised lossless 5.1 track has been replaced with a DVD quality stereo mix! So, yeah, no lossless for you on this one. Normally I wouldn't care that much for a show like this, but as this is one of the very few cartoons out there to use actual pop music along with one of the best original American vocal casts assembled since Invader Zim, yeah, that alone is kind of sticking in my craw.

Reports are far from conclusive at this point, but it's been widely agreed that most - though seemingly not all - uses of words like "hell", "pissed", "screwed" and "crap" are being swapped out with slightly less abrasive language. Pissed becomes ticked. Hell becomes heck. And, yes, they're just copy-pasting words from other episodes and reports confirm that it sounds like hairy, pimply ass. Amazingly enough, none of the show's sexual humor or over the top cartoonish violence seems to have been affected - or at least if it has, nobody's caught any examples of it yet.

The fact that this typically airs in the evenings on Cartoon Network with a "TV PG" rating has always left it with a certain level of leeway with standards and practices, but the show's increasing popularity has convinced Cartoon Network to edit out the minor cussing so they can play it as a "TV G" series before dinner hours. As far as I know the second season had a bit less psuedo-cussing to start with, so the edits may only be to the first season, but until some more obsessive fans have combed through the set I'm not convinced one way or another.

Adding to the confusion is the fact that while the iTunes versions are supposedly the uncensored, original broadcast version, Amazon Instant Video versions are the newer censored versions. I'm getting mixed info on both Netflix's presentation of Season 1 in HD and Playstation Network's available SD episodes, but it's safe to say that any "new" release of this show will likely be the edited versions. How rampant and dramatic these edits get, however, remains unconfirmed.

What makes this even more confusing are reports that the creator commentary tracks on these episodes are rife with actual swearing. "Shit" and "Fuck" and the whole goddamn nine. Hang on now, the bonus features can be all droppin' F-bombs and the show can't even say pissed off?

Who the fuck even--

I can't, why would--

ARGH--


 GET BACK TO MAKING SENSE!!

If this were *only* an issue with the broadcast I wouldn't mind much, but the fact that it's wound up on the Complete Blu-ray is, frankly, inexcusable. Warner Bros. and Cartoon Network have shot themselves in the foot on this one, presenting a show with a large adult fanbase who actually appreciate its crass and unusual sense of humor watering it down, and yet leaves content so much more potentially upsetting in the same package. Man, it's almost like they don't have a fucking clue what they're doing...

Earlier DVD releases were also uncensored - such as the "Slack Pack - but they're SD, have no bonus features, and with each "pack" containing 12 to 16 randomly selected episodes it's kind of a shitty way to keep track of how much of the show you have. The fact that I even have to look into what the cheap "Babysitter DVDs" include as a potential alternative to a 'complete' box is pretty fucked up, isn't it?

I was ready to pick up a copy this weekend, and who knows, I still might just to see what punching in the Konami Code on the menu does (yes, that's actually a thing), but man... that's a bitter pill to swallow. If I can get a rundown of all the changes that have been made I'll update this/make a new post, but at the very least, both "The Power" and "Meat Your Maker" are confirmed as edited, and I have little doubt that others have been affected as well.

Fighting On in the Pacific Rim

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Y'know what? Fuck you all.

I'm trying not to get too excited about this whole thing, seeing as how Guillermo del Toro's PACIFIC RIM was tailor made for international audiences and will - I'm sure - by this weekend's close have made a small fortune in China alone. The universality of the kaiju threat and the total lack of genuine political angle is one of the many unusual, praise-worthy things this film has brought to the Imax screen, but in the end it still got its ass kicked by a fucking Adam Sandler sequel.

In no uncertain terms, Pacific Rim is a glorious success: A thoroughly unpretentious, gloriously realized tale of giant monsters getting punched in the goddamn face by equally giant robots. The film's simplified borderline ethnic stereotype cartoon heroes are about as deep as a finger bowl, sure, but they're fleshed out enough that we care about their personal struggle, if not them as actual people - and you'll cease to care that we're watching rejected Street Fighter II characters the minute they get into a deliciously convoluted clunker of a 90 foot robot and fight critters that look like Cthulhu and the Hellboy cast got their extended family freak on. It's a bold, bombastic, family-friendly fantasy that's fallen out of style in the wake of depressing superhero movies as the go-to popcorn fodder, and it finally proves that you CAN make a legitimately great giant-robot driven live action film, meaning that Michael Bay can finally put down his Transformers Proof of Concept franchise down before it wipes its ass with Unicron and officially pisses everyone over the age of 30 off into a blind, frothing rage, and we can all finally stop pretending that Robot Jox is anything but Stuart Gordon having a great time with some particularly cool 80s action figures. (And there's no shame in loving that, damn it!)


And hey, holy shit, Pacific Rim is an original property - a logical, sincere next step created by a childhood fueled by Godzilla movies, and legitimately classic mecha anime like Tetsujin #28 - and not, contrary to much gnashing at early trailers, a wholesale Evangelion rip-off... if anything it owes far more to Gunbuster and Mazinger Z. It isn't a hipster mockery of their tropes and ideals, it merely is an obnoxiously awesome film full of the deceptively simplistic, conceptually gonzo childish wish-fulillment power fantasy Go Nagai, Ken Ishikawa and Mitsuteru Yokoyama made their legacies out of. Del Toro promised to create a film that would have blown his own mind were he still a 12 year old boy, and by God, he's done himself proud on that front. I wouldn't go as far as saying Pacific Rim is a perfect film - that'd be giving it just a little too much credit - but it is a perfectly realized look at what the boundless talent and budgets of the Hollywood blockbuster machine can turn these simple, kooky ideas into when it has the balls to not try and craft an ironic parody or a gritty reboot of the material; sometimes, fun is just fun, and Pacific Rim delivers everything I could have ever asked from it.

And yet, here we are watching it get a lukewarm reaction in the United States. Oh, don't get me wrong, reviews are quite positive - it's got a healthy 72% Fresh rating and an even higher viewer score, which is about as good as a movie that's best summed up as "Mighty Fighty Robot Action!" is ever going to get with the public at large - and Warner Bros. has already said they expected it to open stateside with a $30 Million weekend gross, which means it's already ahead of "official" predictions.  Warner is either downplaying matters a bit, or expecting huge international returns, since the film's estimated $190 Million cost - which, remember, includes neither the marketing budget nor the fact that ticket sales are split with the theater - are, as of this writing, still not yet met (though the gap will surely be closed by Monday morning).

To draw an infuriating comparison, TRANSFORMERS: REVENGE OF THE FALLEN - a film even people who are willing to defend Michael Bay's other Transformer movies tend to admit is a pile of shit - made more money in 24 hours than Pacific Rim will have made on US receipts in two weeks. Yes, by and large Nerd Culture has slowly usurped the "mainstream" in the early 21st century, and that's pretty damned awesome in a lot of ways, but it's become clear that only certain parts of Nerdy Stuff actually ever took; in this case, the presence of giant robots punching other equally giant things seems to have less draw than the nostalgic title and the promise of your own fond memories of a toy truck that turns into a toy robot, with the actual "good movie" part being fully optional for commercial success. Similarly, GAME OF THRONES - or more specifically its love for tits and beheadings, on top of all that "high fantasy" nonsense - has taken cable by storm, but if you can somehow convince anyone who isn't already a huge manga fan to give even a half a shit about BERSERK, please, let me know.

But this is to be expected, to some degree at least. Known properties always do better thanks to the concept of "Marquee Value" - the idea that people are more willing to spend money on something they've already seen in some form before, which explains why sequels always do better than the first part in a series, despite most sequels being not-really-as-good. So no, Pacific Rim isn't a failure as a lot of the Hollywood rags are reporting... it just isn't doing as well as it deserves to. And that's a wholly different kind of disappointment, isn't it.


I could write 10 pages explaining why PACIFIC RIM is awesome, but... why bother? Go watch the trailer. Know you're getting exactly that for just over 2 hours, and do yourself a favor and find the biggest fucking screen you can find - 3D be damned, I wouldn't have it on anything but a 50 foot tall IMAX screen. Already seen it? Grab a friend who hasn't and go again. Hell, ask a person on the street to a date and take them; if they aren't ready to bone you 'till they bleed after 2 hours of hot mecha action, you've clearly wasted your time. Go see Pacific Rim, go see it all the times you possibly can. I mean, fuck, it's either that or wait for The Smurfs 2 inexplicably set new box office records... and you really want THAT on your conscious?

The Bruce Lies Collection

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Sweet looking box, right? It's packed to the gills with 11 discs [4 Blu-ray + 7 DVD] with a retail price of $120 - though most pre-orders are hovering in the $70~80 range. It includes all of Bruce Lee's Hong Kong produced action films - THE BIG BOSS/唐山大兄 (aka "Fists of Fury"), FIST OF FURY/精武門 (aka "The Chinese Connection"), WAY OF THE DRAGON/猛龍過江 (aka "Return of the Dragon") and GAME OF DEATH (aka "This Movie Actually Sucks, But Ends With A Bunch Of Cool Ass Fights Bruce Lee Never Got To Finish So Watch It Anyway And Forget 90% Of It"). Also included are two feature length documentaries, Bruce Lee: The Legend (plus a separate, updated cut!) and I Am Bruce Lee, along with over two hours of newly commissioned interviews on a separate bonus disc, packaged in an oversize book with original essays and rare on-set photos. Neat!

Notably absent are ENTER THE DRAGON - which Warner Brothers just re-released as a collectible 40th Anniversary Edition, since they own the North American rights - and GAME OF DEATH II/死亡塔, which is actually kind of cool little flick on its own, but has so amazingly little to do with Bruce Lee that you're better off watching Bruce Lee Fights Back From The Grave or The Clones of Bruce Lee or... seriously, anything that wasn't a handful of outtakes stuffed into a completely unrelated film.

Shout Factory went out of their way to include original MONO mixes in both Mandarin and English, and promised that all the titles had been newly color corrected for their North American Blu-ray premier. This also marks the first ever "official" home video premier of the original, rejected English dub for The Big Boss, as well as the US premier of the Japanese alternate dub for Game of Death, which features a handful of exclusive music cues and Lee's actual battle cries where applicable.

The set is due to drop August 6th, but was shipped a few weeks early to anyone willing to pay the $102 price tag they were asking for from their own website, which a handful of excited fans were happy to do. By all counts, it sounded like Shout Factory had brought on their A-Game and really made this pricey Blu-ray collection the centerpiece of any Lee fan's shelf... it's just too bad they weren't smart enough to double check that the High Definition masters they got from Golden Harvest were actual High Definition masters, and not upscales of the older NTSC DVD masters.

Full disclosure - I made none these caps, nor have access to the Shout Factory release personally - but the handful of very excited Bruce Lee fans who have gotten their hands on sets early by way of paying an extra $30 have all confirmed that the results are exactly what we're about to see below. If ANY of this information turns out to be less than accurate, I'll make a new post and update this one to avoid any further confusion, but with this release being an expensive item that a lot of readers may be ready to pull the trigger on, consider this a public service announcement until proven otherwise:


THE BIG BOSS: HONG KONG IMPORT

THE BIG BOSS: SHOUT FACTORY UPSCALE

FIST OF FURY: HONG KONG IMPORT

FIST OF FURY: SHOUT FACTORY UPSCALE


I can't find a proper matched cap for Way of the Dragon (and I'm far too lazy right now to dig out my German BD copy), but... trust me, it's just as bad as the other two, and the DVD BEAVER REVIEW confirms that, once more, the import is a legit HD transfer. If someone does proper 1:1 comparison, same frame and all that, I'll happily update the lot of them - in the meantime, here's the THREAD from which the Shout Factory BD caps first surfaced.

There's really no squirming out of this one. This isn't me being an asshole and taking a shot in the dark on a handful of crumby caps to guess what the source might have been; someone to have ordered the set and gotten it early by willingly paying more for it has gone above and beyond to confirm that this is what the Shout Factory box set transfers actually look like, and with a "Full HD" master having already been released abroad for 3 of these films, there's no question as to if we're just expecting too much from dated materials. Shout Factory's High Definition Blu-ray box is nothing but upscaled content, and consumers got hosed out of HD transfers that already exist. With them having pimped the fact that they paid Fotokem to color-corrected the Fortune Star sources they were given, this smacks of almost comedic incompetence.

Some clarity is required here, since it's just hella confusing: Fortune Star is the international entity that owns and distributes a massive chunk of Hong Kong's cinematic past, and are responsible for creating new video elements for all of Golden Harvests features - including the Bruce Lee films. Kam & Ronson does the home video distribution for much of Fortune Star's catalog in Hong Kong. Fortune Star restored all three of Bruce Lee's "original" Hong Kong films from the original negatives in 2006, and released these new masters to DVD in a restored box set, along with the slightly different cut of ENTER THE DRAGON, which - outside of East Asia - is distributed by Warner. (And Game of Death II, which is not actually a Bruce Lee movie by any sensible definition.)

Blu-ray releases for the Bruce Lee films followed in 2009, and... well, by that point Kam & Ronson had released BDs for several Fortune Star titles starring genre regulars, and - to put it bluntly - they were virtually all SD upscales. At this point I don't think anyone with more than a half a brain even questions it. Jackie Chan, Chow Yun Fat and Jet Li movies have always looked like piss on DVD though, so plenty of long time fans shrugged and decided that lossless audio, high resolution subtitles and no obvious MPEG-2 compression artifacts were all "good enough" reasons to upgrade anyway. To be fair, even a crumby upscale is such a dramatic step up from the usual LD dumps made from theatrical prints that most fans were willing to take it anyway. There's a handful of legit HD masters kicking around, including City Hunter and The Accidental Spy, but they're so few and far between that you're safer assuming that anything Kam & Ronson are offering is a dusty ol' Digibeta, and getting a nice surprise if it turns out to be an HDCAM tape instead.

The Bruce Lee early HK trilogy, however, was a bit of a shock in that they were - gasp! - legit HD masters. The Big Boss in particular shows a dramatic improvement in HD over any prior home video release, and while both Fist of Fury and Way of the Dragon have their problems, there's no doubt in mind that was a fairly fresh scan of the original camera negative on a piece of legit High Definition hardware. Even Enter the Dragon got a completely new scan from Fortune Star, though having less than ideal duplicate film elements for that film to start with and some pretty severe color timing issues, it was still beaten out by Warner's own problematic "BOB'ed 540p" Blu-ray from 2007 (though the margin of error on that one was far too thin to give anyone a pat on the back - they're both incredibly mediocre presentations). Also, the HK release of Enter the Dragon only has various Chinese dubs and English subtitles - no original English dialog, again, due to licensing restrictions between Golden Harvest and Warner Brothers, who distribute slightly different editions of the film.

For the record, there's been a lot of hemming and hawing about that Warner 40th Anniversary remaster for Enter the Dragon, and while I agree that there are some minor issues, it's easily the best presentation the film has had in HD so far, and everyone who finds an excuse not to upgrade is probably doing so more out of the $40 MSRP than any major grievances with the slightly dark color timing. Well, I guess that that or they really don't want to lose A Warrior's Journey, which was evidently removed from later pressings of the old Warner BD due to licensing issues.

Fortune Star's BRUCE LEE: LEGENDARY COLLECTION (HK - 2009)

There was, however, a dirty little secret hiding in the expensive Kam & Ronson Blu-ray box set; you see, Game of Death didn't get stand-alone HD releases in Hong Kong, they were only sold as part of the complete box set. Having been produced later on and likely with more accurate sales numbers in mind, both Game of Death films were - much like the rest of Fortune Star's output - merely an upscale of an older standard definition tape master. As of 2012 they finally released the upscaled Game of Death disc as a stand-alone release in Hong Kong, though how many fans in Hong Kong are willing to upgrade to the English-only upscale is anyone's guess. Also included is the Bruce Lee: The Legend documentary on DVD, which proves that Shout Factory was trying really, really hard to emulate this thing stateside.

As far as I know, both France and Germany were both provided the same HD materials by Fortune Star used in Hong Kong - and yes,  that means the European releases of Game of Death are also upscaled from an NTSC source, which means previous PAL masters may technically yield higher resolution. The oddity here is the Japanese release through Columbia Home Video, which - in the case of Game of Death, anyway - includes both Fortune Star's SD upscale, and a newly created HD master of the slightly different Japanese theatrical cut, often known as "Bruce Lee in G.O.D." Sadly, the Japanese 35mm master has optically printed Japanese subtitles during all dialog scenes and more than its fair share of optically printed dirt and scratches, but at least the result appears to be decent (if not reference) 1080p transfer from archival 35mm elements, which is more than I can say for the upscaled garbage everyone else has had to play with. The Japanese release of The Big Boss also includes a slightly alternate Japanese theatrical cut, but with that being - by far, in my personal estimation - the best of the Fortune Star HD masters, it's more a curiosity than a major selling point.

So why not just import the damned films and be done with it? Well, there is no "perfect" import, particularly if you speak English as a first language. The Hong Kong versions include English subtitles and ridiculous 6.1 surround remixes on the various Chinese dialects, all of which sound like garbage due to overzealous new foley effects and over the top noise reduction to eliminate any and all hiss, getting dangerously close to some T-Payne level auto-tune. Also, there's no English dubs on the otherwise quite English friendly HK editions, which - much as they aren't my preferred way of watching the film - are easily the most familiar versions seen by anyone in North America, the United Kingdom or any other typically English speaking region. (Game of Death is in English with optional Chinese subtitles though, because reasons I don't have the time or energy to get into right now.)

Universum Films BRUCE LEE: THE COLLECTION (DE - 2011)

The German and Japanese (and probably French?) releases all include the old-school English dubs, but no English subtitles. This is a sticking point since, after all, three of these four films were originally shot in Hong Kong, which - as was standard at the time - means they planned for the master language to be Mandarin Chinese. This may sound silly, with Hong Kong being a region that speaks the Cantonese dialect, but the standard practice of the era was to shoot the film silent, dub it in Mandarin and then subtitle it in both Traditional Chinese and English, so anyone in Hong Kong who didn't understand Mandarin could still follow the movie. They would later sell the prints to mainland China, which was a dramatically larger market than Hong Kong by itself. Lee himself didn't speak Mandarin, but he'd fake it on set, asking those who were familiar with both forms of Chinese what dramatic moments would sound like in the mainland dialect, and contort his performance to match better. Hong Kong didn't start embracing Cantonese as the "original" dubbed dialect until guys like Tsui Hark took control of the HK industry in the early 80s, recognizing that home video and cable TV revenue was going to justify proper Cantonese dubs sooner rather than later. Incendentally, the quality for Mandarin dubbing took a sharp turn down once they were being made as an after-thought, so if you watch a Tsui Hark or John Woo movie and it sounds like a pack of dogs vomiting through a plate of rancid spaghetti, you're probably

Back to the shameful upscaling part, though. Thus far, Shout's own genre guru Cliff MacMillan - or "cmac", as he's known on the Blu-ray forum - has only had this to say to the increasingly frequent criticisms of what's clearly a clusterfuck of unwarranted proportions:

The masters received from Fortune Star are HD.
We color corrected the first three films at Fotokem.
I asked my telecine [operator] "do these look like HD masters" and he said "yes".
He's been a colorist for over 25 years and has worked for Fox and Universal.

Your colorist was clearly wrong, Cliff... and so far, it's the customer who suffers. Shout Factory even went out of their way to offer it through their own website at a less than cheap $102 to get the set early, versus paying around $70 on Amazon and getting it in August. From the looks of it, no more than half a dozen or so posters have actually chosen this option, and after the first round of terrible screenshots and resulting discussions surfaced, at least half of them are sending it right back.

Oh, did I mention that Shout Factory have released I Am Bruce Lee on Blu-ray, but here it's only included as a DVD? Yeah, that's just pissing on the open wound, but whatever. Apparently Bruce Lee: The Man, The Legend is also a PAL > NTSC conversion, so have fun with two different ugly frame-blended DVD presentations that were originally shot on 35mm film. Also, the Bonus Disc and one of these docs (can't remember/care which) have their silk-screen labels flopped. So yeah, this package is just amazing on every possible level.

With the constant questions this set has raised marching on to Facebook - which is, I admit, where all the cool kids are doing their official announcements these days - we basically got more of the same:

Hi Sam, we are told these are the new HD transfers from Fortune Star.
They might have a better idea of the details beyond that. Thanks! 

Shout Factory drops the ball, and keeps on running like a champ. Way to show you're okay with living in denial, if it means you don't have to cop to having completely fucked up what might be your most impressive release of the year otherwise.

It's a shame, honestly. Shout Factory clearly spent a lot of time, money and effort to cobble all the available audio materials, created new subtitles from scratch, and offer a total of over two hours of exclusive video content. If it weren't for this cruel joke of giving us SD upscales instead of the "real" HD masters Fortune Star created, we'd finally have the single definitive English-friendly release of a trio of films that have always had a nightmarishly convoluted history on home video. Internet denizen and long-time Bruce Lee Master "Old Pang Yau" has done these films proud by providing restored original mono tracks for the lot of them. (Fortune Star has the nasty habit of down-mixing their awful 5.1 mixes, effectively saying "There's your fucking mono, asshole.") Shout Factory's literal Mandarin to English subtitles are most welcome, and the consensus has so far been that they're quite good - if not quite perfect.

Honestly, everything but the transfers for this set are a suitable tribute to the man who single-handedly introduced the world to Kung Fu Mania in the mid 70s, and had this been a DVD-only set for half the price, I may have been willing to accept the positives and ignore the lack of proper HD materials. But as it stands this release is a hot mess, and that's really a sadder story than it ever had to be.

Glad I haven't ditched this DVD set yet...

Wait a second, didn't Shout Factory just release some Double Feature Bruce Lee DVDs in butt-ugly packages for a bargain price? They sure did! But don't even bother, since they went out of their way to remove the original Mandarin audio tracks and English subtitles. Yep, the 20th Century Fox/Fortune Star R1 DVD box set may have had numerous flaws, but at least it still included original Mandarin audio (with some minor sync anomalies) and English subtitles for the three original Hong Kong films... which, may or may not be dubtitles. I think the subs were okay, but it's been so fucking long I don't even remember. (It even has the fun-in-their-own-right Cantonese tracks, but they're 2.0 down-mixes and sound like ass on tape.) It's still easy enough to find used for dirt cheap though, which only makes Shout Factory's box look bloated and overpriced by comparison. At that point the only real advantage Shout offers are the bonus features, and while I'm sure they're pretty damn cool, I doubt it's worth the $50+ difference between them.

The most recent twist in this whole ordeal was the fact that Shout Factory has changed the status from the Legacy Collection to "Sold Out" on their own website, despite the fact that repeated cancellations would suggest they've got more stock than they know what to do with. Are they investigating materials and considering a recall/replacement for this expensive collection? One can only hope, but the fact that pre-orders are still being taken elsewhere neither confirms nor denies a damned thing... but it gives me hope that they're at least looking into it. For what it's worth, I've already contacted them and offered my services. No, I don't expect to hear a word back, but fuck it, they know where to find me when they're done embarrassing themselves if they're that desperate to fix it without going back to Fotokem (who clearly know even less about SD upscales than I do).

Once more, consider this more a PSA than a review, or even a permanent condemnation: SOMETHING went horribly wrong at Shout Factory, and while part of me thinks they're aware of just how badly they screwed the pooch, I have no idea how much money went into producing what already exists, and thus how much it would cost to fix the three main films. To be perfectly honest I expected Game of Death would be an upscale, but the other three films is a left-field shocker. This isn't a title that's never had a Blu-ray release for, and this isn't a title who's fans aren't familiar with the concept of importing, either; heck, anyone who really wants these movies probably already has the Kam & Ronson box set, and was merely looking forward to this as the "Definitive" upgrade. If Shout Factory can't convince the hardcore fans who have been buying Bruce Lee movies since the days of Laserdisc, they've already lost the battle to sell a $120 box set... and that's just depressing for everyone involved.

I'll keep you posted as this one develops. In the meantime, vote with your wallets, but take the 5 minutes and tell Shout Factory WHY you aren't picking this up. I certainly haven't been shy, but... then again, when have I been?

You deserved better than this, Little Dragon. Maybe someday...

Bruce Lee's Legacy of Shame

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Because Chuck's Creationism-Believing Ass deserves more humility.

And this is about as official as it's going to get, ladies and gentlemen. To quote Cliff MacMillan (aka "cmac") from the Blu-ray.com forum thread, in full:


From Fortune Star regarding the masters -
Checked with our material department, it is the same HDCAM master we provided to you and our HK video distributor. The HDCAM masters are not up-converted version but were re-mastered version originated from the negatives of the Films several years ago in Canada.

The HK video distributor didn’t spend money to improve the masters but the studio who worked for the blu-ray encoding has fine tune the colour and brightness of the films before the production.

As I have mentioned before, we also spent time color correcting the masters and removing scratches. 


Call me a cynic if you like,  but it sounds an awful lot like Cliff just said "These are clearly HD masters because FORTUNE STAR SAID SO, and thus there's nothing to talk about". Never mind the fact that all four reviews on the Blu-ray.com site itself - The Big Boss, Fist of Fury, The Way of the Dragon and Game of Death - all admit that the films included in the set are probably SD upscales, but won't confirm or deny it one way or another because that'd be "impossible" to do. Having been on the other end of that pendulum, I don't blame him; there's nothing more humbling than saying out loud, on the internet, "This looks like X!" only for someone roughly as nerd-rage fueled as yourself to prove it's actually Y. But what I feel totally comfortable saying is that anyone satisfied by the transfer in this set has no business upgrading much of anything on Blu-ray, and while I can accept that Fortune Star is just awful enough to have sent SD materials by mistake, I refuse to believe that anyone at Shout Factory doesn't know they're lying right to our collective face.

So what now? Now, we wait. Shout Factory is either going to realize they've fucked up hard enough that sales have actually been affected by - gasp! - having sold a crappy product, or... well, I shudder to think at the thought of the entire North American market simply throwing their hands up in the air, muttering "I give up already!" and settling for a $120 box set with upscaled content, but I've seen worse things... like Pacific Rim getting bashed in the cock by Adam Sandler at the box office.

Also, for the record... can someone please explain to me what PedroMC69's deal is in that thread? There's a moment where he gets all sulky and says the price on this should drop to peanuts and that it's clear Shout Factory screwed the pooch, but once MacMillan drops the above non-answer he does a 180 and continues defending Shout Factory so goddamn hard you'd think Cliff has his hand up the poor guy's arse...

Wait, what? No, I never said he was a probable sock-puppet account! I mean, cripes, that'd just be absurd. For a guy with "MC" in his screen name to have the real-life name "MacMillan" and blindly support a studio he, evidently, owns exactly 10 BDs from, yet doesn't seem to own any other genre releases from companies like Synapse Films or Arrow Video. Who'd think that was suspicious? (And  honestly, what's worse? Him being a falsified dupe-account, or legitimately having Stockholm Syndrome for a fucking video distributor?)

Whatever the case, Shout Factory's set is officially a hot upscaled mess. I expect more middling reviews to follow, and with most sites doing it to get Amazon kick-backs I expect most of them to sound very similar to Jeffery Kaufman's own, suggesting we weigh the positives for the bonus material before writing off the dreadful transfers off by default. Personally, I've just had it; if I have to buy one release just to rip the audio tracks and add it to another release to get a proper release out of it... well, I'm just not doing that shit anymore. Life's too short to do custom releases of titles that have no excuse not to be competent out of the gate, and frankly, if anyone does do the deed and slap the Shout language options on any other international transfer, I'll happily do the color correction myself and share it with the lot of 'ya.

*Sigh* Okay, I feel better. I'm officially done with this subject, until Cliff either says something amazingly stupid, or they actually fix this completely inexcusable fuck-up. I won't break my neck defending the films themselves - The Big Boss is whatever, at best, and Game of Death is a train wreck of proportions that makes Ed Wood look like a genius - but still, show a little fucking respect!

Tune in tomorrow (or Friday!) when I talk about something awesome instead. Seriously, this may be a wash but barring some major unforeseen atrocity, we've potentially got the Cult Blu-ray Of The Year in the fucking bag.

13 Trampled Flowers: AKU NO HANA ~ THE FLOWERS OF EVIL In Review

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Why didn't I make this my Anime Expo costume?

The following post is going to, in no uncertain terms, SPOIL THE ABSOLUTE SHIT out of the 13 episode 惡の華/FLOWERS OF EVIL TV anime, and roughly the first 7 volumes of manga it was based on. I spoke AT SOME LENGTH about the show previously, but that was specifically about the first 7 episodes; this is about the final six, and how it's all shaken out compared to the original comics. So, y'know, if you plan to watch and read the show but haven't yet, go do it. Seriously, go buy it RIGHT NOW - time's a wasting, and that shipping isn't gonna get any freer if you pick 'em up one at a time.

If you ask me, FLOWERS OF EVIL peaks at episode 10, and that's... not entirely a complaint, I guess. That 22 minute piece is one of the more impressive pieces of unusual televised content I've ever seen, essentially a stilted, self-hating piece of tragedy porn that looks the audience in the eye and says "Yes, you were completely wrong about what this was. Deal with it." The show's glacial pacing picks up for just long enough to revel in what makes this story so goddamned interesting to start with, and finally comes full circle with it; Nakamura's fascination with Kasuga was her misunderstanding that his impulsive, selfish nature hid something deeper. Something dark and terrifying that threatened the dull, crushing normalcy of her miserable life. But was she right? Did she ever really have a partner in Kasuga?

When Kasuga is stripped of everything, forced to choose between justifying the love of the girl he had a romanticized crush on and the girl who challenged his belief in everything... he chooses neither. He breaks down in tears, admitting he doesn't understand a goddamned word of Baudelaire, and just convinced himself his pseudo-intellectual fascination with classic literature was a way to convince him that he's not just as ordinary and boring as everyone else. The entire show to that point had - to one degree or another - been our lead character (I refuse to call him a "hero") trying to figure himself out whilst simultaneously wrapping himself in layers of complicated, pretentious bullshit, to the point where even he believed it. What does Nakamura do with this moment of unexpected clarity? She, quite literally, THROWS IT BACK IN HIS SNIVELING FACE. And I was overjoyed.

Nakamura's quest to find another emotionally shattered sociopath to share her miserable crawl towards oblivion has failed, and in the end, Kasuga's unexpected, grotesque honesty has cost him the respect and affection of both women in his life. It's an emotionally devastating sequence - one designed to somewhat cleverly undo a lot of the seemingly valid criticisms viewers might have had until that point about the story being pretentious (as opposed to the characters within the show - creating a character with unlikable traits doesn't mean the author has created an unlikable piece by accident), and it proudly wears the whole concept of Flowers of Evil for the world to see in both the most blatant, and amusing, visual possible. Yeah, it's a bit on the nose, and yes, it borders on approaching the very ideas the story proper is rejecting of pretentious wankery actually meaning anything.

And y'know what? I fucking loved it, because it's earned that brief moment of self-indulgent symbolism. The most obvious point of comparison the TV series had drawn up to this point was the bizarre, slow-burn films of surrealist mastermind David Lynch, but Lynch worked in nightmarish imagery specifically to explore the inner workings of the human mind in exaggerated ways, meaning that - for example - "The Baby" in Eraserhead is very real, at least insofar as anything in that film is. When faced to cop to that uncomfortable level of clarity, Flowers of Evil quickly and violently rejects the un-reality of its initial presentation; Kasuga's own visions of the "Flowers" watching his evolution into a deviant are then regulated to his dreams, and the only glimpse of the "Other Side" appear in the hastily scribbled notebooks that the characters themselves have created.

That overbearing sensation of discomfort and broken narrative doesn't change, but the subtle, at times almost supernatural underpinnings - suggesting that the story is, somehow, more than it really is, to the point where Mrs. Kentai was curious if the series had supernatural elements at play - basically evaporate with Kasuga's inflated sense of self-importance. Part of me wishes the series had actually taken it a step further - filled the whole proceedings with even more insane internal-visuals leading up to Kasuga's breakdown, be they blatantly false (like him seeing Saeki as the Virgin Mary) or merely over the top (Nakamura's "So Anime!" bit of skipping through a pulsating rainbow backdrop) - but, as ever, I find that what works in the show just wasn't focused on quite enough to draw the comparisons I want to. In effect, the Flowers of Evil TV series reminds me of a great David Lynch movie... but, I'm not convinced it's as good as a great David Lynch movie.

Whatever you think this means... it's actually far worse.

Having recently read way too much chatter from viewers who either were emotionally unable, or consciously unwilling, to see the largely clear-cut ideas presented in the narrative, I'm going to throw out my interpretation of what makes this story so fascinating, and a lot of it comes down to the dynamic of power; Nakamura assaults Kasuga and forces him to wear Saeki's gym clothes. Kasuga doesn't agree to it, but he doesn't actively strike Nakamura, either. He's a coward. He's a sniveling, unsure ball of confused adolescence afraid that Nakamura will expose his "sin", and when it's over Nakamura sits on top of him, panting, looking - for lack of a better term - satisfied. This scene is an inversion of sexual assault as it's typically known; she dwarfs him emotionally, and the domination of his body follows suit. She's overpowering and even emasculating him. She makes Kasuga her indisputable bitch without needing to penetrate either of them, because sex isn't really a part of her agenda - not directly, in any case; ever the literal symbol, Nakamura strips Kasuga of his pretenses and exposes him for what she thinks he really is: A sexually frustrated, fetish-clothing obsesses deviant.

When she makes Kasuga admit to being hard and touching himself while wearing them, the shaky validity of her assertions are somewhat irrelevant - what matters is she sees through the romanticism that Kasuga can't, again, because he's bought into his own sense of intellectually inflated nonsense. Arguments that Kasuga could have fought her off or that he may have secretly "wanted it" are missing the whole point of their characters; interpreting it as anything but one character exerting the emotional power the other has granted them is stretching quite a bit, as is questioning how creepy this dynamic could have been had their genders been reversed. As I said last time, the inversion - the switching of gender and power roles - from a hundred different rape-fetish anime and eroge in the pattern of Isaku and Yakin Byoutou was the whole POINT of this relationship, which might be possible to do, if you haven't whacked it to countless Isaku knock-offs in the last decade, and I wouldn't be surprised if a lot of the people who find themselves uncomfortable with this idea are doing so out of a fundamental lack in understanding that this scenario is perfectly normal for "rough" minded Japanese cartoon pornography. It'd be like trying to discuss Behind the Mask: The Rise of Leslie Vernon without having seen a single Jason or Michael Meyers movie - you could, sure, but why would you even want to? Someone's telling you a joke, and you don't have enough background in the subject to follow it.

Episode 10 is the turning point, the moment Kasuga realizes he's fundamentally a blank slate; he doesn't really know why he exists, and he's been selfishly aggrandizing Saeki whilst lying to himself about his "wicked" personality so he didn't have to face the fact that he was, like everyone else around him, just a pathetic creep with selfish desires. Episode 11 leaves him still drawn for reasons he doesn't understand to Nakamura - the girl who abused him, who humiliated him, and who destroyed his illusions about himself - and the next two episodes are devoted to Kasuga both trying to apologize, and in the end, finally understand Nakamura. He succeeds (on some level, anyway) when he reads through Nakamura's uncomfortably serial-killeresque diary, and is heartbroken by what he finds; the realization that she only wanted to help him on her own twisted terms - a fellow freak trying to drag one of her own out of the closet, and one that increasingly found little worth being excited for when she no longer had the purpose of helping a fellow tortured soul lick his own wounds. Without the aide of another 13 episodes to work with, the Flowers of Evil TV series essentially ends with Kasuga finally accepting that if he has to be something, it might as well be what he always thought he was: He lives the lie of being a deviant until it becomes his reality, and he finds the terms to do it that finally give him the responsibility he so openly threw away when he tried to deal with Saeki's emotional baggage. In short, the TV series ends with Kasuga realizing his own worth and becoming a man... he just does it in the single most destructive way possible by deciding to be Nakamura's vassal.

There's a single moment in Episode 13 that strikes a chord in me I had to ponder for a moment: When Nakamura comes into her room and finds Kasuga in tears reading her diary, there's a moment where she grins, the same way she would when she'd torment Kasuga... but why? Why is she elated by this act of betrayal? Because whether or not Kasuga realized it, he had done to Nakamura what he had previously done to Saeki; he invaded her privacy in a moment of perverse weakness, and in very awkward terms has proven that Nakamura was now the object of his affections.

Of course, he was still a shit-bug reading her diary after having proven to be far less an individual than she'd previously expected, so she flipped out anyway. Hard to blame her, all things considered. But this in turn begins one of the more fascinating aspects of these two characters, as they enter into an increasingly uncomfortable, not-directly-sexual D/s relationship: The whole way through, Kasuga continues to do things that make Nakamura proud - namely peeling off his "skin" of his own accord and carving out a portal to "The Other Side" for her, and Nakamura continues to - as she sees fit - both nurture and tease him, not unlike the way most people would treat a dog they were particularly fond of. Kasuga is clearly physically attracted to Nakamura, but never tries to get any closer than Nakamura's own terms dictate that he be allowed; she even uses him as furniture and flashes fleshy bits of her body to establish that he's still in command, acknowledging that part of Kasuga's true self involves desires she herself is satisfied to ignore. Before "The Other Side" is destroyed, there's some question as to if Nakamura's attitude towards physical attraction is as non-existent as she suggests, but that quickly becomes irrelevant when her fun is interrupted, setting their relationship back to square one without any reason for Nakamura not to pummel the poor kid into submission.

This comes to its thematic high mark when Nakamura physically tears away at Kasuga's flesh, and gives her final order... clearly out of his depth, Kasuga loses his shit for a moment, but agrees to Nakamura's slightly more dramatic - and no less shocking - demands to end the contract on her own terms. Kasuga stands his ground and becomes what Nakamura thought he was, even at the cost of his own being.

Boom goes the dynamite.

This relationship's core concept gets far more uncomfortable when - in the manga, at least - Saeki looks at the dynamic between Kasuga and Nakamura and tries to emulate it herself. Saeki is a far more interesting character than some people give her credit for; yes, there may be an undercurrent of perverse wish-fulfillment in seeing her not reject Kasuga for his previous actions, but she's a young girl, and for the first time she feels like someone has acknowledged that she exists - that she's a fully formed, independent, beautiful person capable of making others want and love her. She sees Kasuga's innocent worship of her as a vindication of her own existence - itself seemingly a complicated dance for her parents sake she's sick of keeping up - and when Kasuga breaks up with her, she doesn't see it as the boy trying to protect her; she sees it as having somehow "lost" to Nakamura, the only person Saeki sees as capable of not giving a single fuck about what others think of her. Saeki's sense of self-worth are built entirely on her being an ideal - not an actual person - and she becomes infuriated with Nakamura's ability to be everything she's not, merely by not caring about everything she does. When she's refused by Kasuga as she offers the last thing she feels she has to give - her physical innocence - she ignores him and takes him by force, which likely isn't that hard to do with a sexually amorphous 14 year old boy. (Hell, I still get boners when they're least appropriate, and I'm at least twice Kasuga's age.)

This is important on two levels, one I'm curious if some readers glossed over; the most obvious point is that she physically dominates Kasuga and then shows off the bloody proof to Nakamura, who basically just laughs and asks why she should care. Again, Nakamura's focus on Kasuga having sex had nothing to do with her wanting to have sex with Kasuga, so her reaction - at least, the one she spoke of out loud - is that it was irrelevant, and that Saeki could fuck the little shit whenever she wanted. The more subtle fallout is the fact that, when Kasuga worked up the nerve to ask Saeki out in the first place, he specifically asked for a platonic relationship. That's right, he literally asked for a non-sexual romance so he could keep this pure, romanticized image of Saeki alive in his head, and she shatters it by physically violating him. Forcing herself on him is bad enough; the fact that the act contradicted the one thing he ever requested of her when they entered in their thinly formed relationship makes it so much worse, though.

Why does any of this this matter, though? If Nakamura doesn't care, why does she become so frustrated afterward? This is because Nakamura took control of Kasuga not to demean him, but to peel off the layers of his artifice and find the beast lurking beneath; she tormented and abused him specifically with the goal to help him. Saeki is far less altruistic, and merely takes control to further her own sense of self worth; Kasuga quickly became a pawn to show Nakamura that she still "won" a competition she never understood to begin with. Saeki used Kasuga's body just as Kasuga used his fantasy of Nakamura, projecting an idealized romance on their own selfish terms without ever really acknowledging that the other was an actual human being. By comparison, Nakamura turns out to be the compassionate woman in this unusual romantic triangle; she certainly took enjoyment in watching Kasuga squirm, but she only did it because she legitimately thought it would make him happy to begin with. Granted, Nakamura's still a crazy bitch, but at least she was a sincere, well meaning kind of crazy bitch. In the end, the physically violent sociopath could be the most honest and emotionally cohesive character in this whole affair... how's that for a depressing snapshot of adolescence?

But to get back to the TV series for a moment, the final episode did something... interesting. I can't call it good, because the grotesquely slow pacing that embodies the show made it a requirement in the first place, and while I understand the concept behind pacing this like an arthouse feature there's too much ground to cover to justify it. But I can't call it bad either, because the very nature of the beast is only interesting BECAUSE the rest of the show has been so intensely argumentative to the tone of it. I'm talking, of course, about the show's three-minute long flash-forward, layering out of context dialog and quick glimpses - some of them merely a second long - of unprovoked violence, implicit sexual assault, and the ultimate plan to reach the Other Side.

The only way I find I can describe this version of Flowers of Evil is if the legendary finale to Martin Scorcese's Taxi Driver had been a series of uncertain, fast cuts interspersed through the footage of Travis Bickle waking up in the hospital bed, not really answering the burning questions of what went down during what was the film's ultimate act of violent catharsis, other than to leave the impression that "shit got real". Taxi Driver might not seem like a particularly appropriate comparison piece, but both Bickle and Nakamura are young, angry people who project their frustration onto the world around them until they both resort to drastic measures; if Flowers of Evil has any catharsis, it's all buried in that churning, indistinct montage, promising the ultimate conclusion of the show's antiheroes without actually explaining a goddamned thing. Part of me is overjoyed they found a way to acknowledge this material at all; the rest of me wishes they had simply sped the pace up to 2X and we could have actually gotten to see that footage play out in real time. I'm slightly jealous of Justin Sevakis' recent comment summing up that there's an excellent feature film to be made from the 13 episodes of raw footage, which is honestly the only way I could see the final stretch of the manga's story arc being animated by way of a 90 minute rotoscoped feature.

D'aw! Look at all the emotional baggage!

At the end of the day, Flowers of Evil - the TV adaptation, at the very least - was made to please a select few, but raise the ire of everyone else, and left plenty of potential fans in the dust to approach the uncomfortable subject matter on its own terms, flawed as they could be. Mrs. Kentai cringes every time she sees me watching it, and when faced with the reality that the "cute" designs of the original manga are no worse at expressing the same ideas and sentiment as the intentionally distorted rotoscoped visuals of the TV series, I find myself unable to argue that they were 'better' than a typical anime art style - more unique and conversation worthy, sure, but I'm not convinced they were necessary to tell the story itself, lest the original material would crumble under its own adorable nature. While there are brilliant moments peppered through the show - Nakamura stripping Kasuga, the destruction of the class room, even the way the wet pages of Baudelaire being thrown in Kasuga's face were handled - at the end of the day, the decision to create a totally unique and polarizing art style served to grab people's attentions and establish that Japan is far from finished trying to innovate TV animation, but not too much else. I'm fine with this show looking, and even unfolding the way it does; it certainly grabbed my eyeballs, and it's caused ten times the discussion that the thematically similar teen-romance deconstruction epic School Days ever did in the English speaking world. (And that's not entirely fair, because School Days is fucking brilliant.)

And therein lies the real rub, doesn't it? Fans of the original manga expected a more or less straight-up adaptation of the original manga, which director Nagahama rejected as being pointless; the original work is fine the way it is, and he suggested creator Oshimi adapt it as a live action series. A VERY INTERESTING TRANSLATION of an interview with these two men to promote the TV series reveals some very interesting methodology behind the show's creation, and in the interest of exploring how this show came to be, here's the summary in full:

In short (note that this is a quick & dirty summary):

- At first Nagahama (the director) refused the offer to direct the adaptation, because he thought that simply turning this manga into a pretty, clean-looking anime would be pointless. He says that he believes that when the mangaka draws this story he's seeing something "else" which he expresses as a manga. So there would be no point in simply presenting it in animated form, at that rate you might as well just read the manga and be done with it.

- He thought if it was to be adapted at all, it should be done as a live drama. When he was offered the job the second time, he pitched the idea of using rotoscope. He was aware that the result would be different from the manga.

- Oshimi (the mangaka) says Nagahama is right about the way he creates the manga: the original story is something that exists in his head, and he draws what he sees in his mind. So basically the anime and the manga are two different versions of the story that exists in Oshimi's head. By the way, he was also aware that due to the rotoscope the anime would look different from his work, and he thought it was an interesting idea.

- Oshimi also says that he thinks Nagahama has a very deep insight into the story, and firmly believes that he's taking it in the right direction. He also very much approves of Nagahama's wish of the anime leaving the viewers with a scar.

- Oshimi was pretty much "in" on the whole thing, they tested the rotoscope method on him.

- The interviewer asks about the impact the visuals would have on viewers, and Nagahama says he's well aware that a lot of people will go "what the fudge" and "this is gross," "I hate this, I'm not watching this." But he's pretty much okay with that, too, because he thinks it's fine as long as it leaves an impact on people. Viewers may dismiss it right away, but some may check it out later and find it interesting, or they may come across the manga, recognize the title, and read that.

- Oshimi says that he once got a fan letter from a high school girl who wrote that when she read the manga in middle school she thought it was stupid, but she tried to read it again when she was older and she found it very good. Nagahama says that this is what he's going for, to leave an impact, even if it's negative. He's trying to create something that one can't just ignore or dismiss. 

- Oshimi also says that the anime has many scenes that he wishes he would've drawn the way they are in the anime, for example a scene with Kasuga and Nakamura in the classroom. 

- Also, he confesses he's writing the manga with the intention of murdering the readers with it (metaphorically, of course), thinks the anime is doing the same, and relishes the idea of the viewers getting slaughtered, jokingly of course. (lol #1)

 They leave the following messages to the fans:

- Oshimi: He guarantees that those who feel very strongly about Aku no hana will enjoy the anime. However, chara-moe types, those who go "Nakamura-san, unf unf" will probably feel betrayed. (lol #2) 

- Nagahama: Since it's so different from the usual anime, he can't say that everyone will love it. But those who watch the first episode and think "I want to see more" will not have their expectations betrayed.

In other words, the two architects behind the TV series went out of their way to craft something they knew the average anime fan would reject - from the sound of it, the cute art style in the original manga may well have been something the publisher requested, rather than something Oshimi himself was particularly into. Without casting judgment or even saying whether or not that's a "good" idea, I have to admit, I admire the balls that decision made, and for sticking to it once made. I'd *LOVE* to have seen the pitch they made to investors, "No, really! The show will be so hated by the fans of the manga that everyone who HASN'T read it will be so curious they'll check it out!" One wonders what might have been in the hands of a less defensive Nagahama...

Not sure if thrilled, disappointed, aroused, or all of the above...

Was it right to craft such a different, "ugly" style just to draw attention to the original manga? Well, there's now a stack of Vertical published books on my shelf, and if the point of the TV show was to cause enough controversy to get people to check the original material out, mission fucking accomplished. I'm glad to have these if, for no other reason, I can force my wife to look at the twisted, depressing, and yet not entirely unsympathetic relationship between these three central characters and understand why I willingly sat through four minutes of two characters walking in total silence. To be fair, even that stretch of silence serves both a narrative and a thematic purpose... it just drives me insane, watching such a fascinatingly ugly story drag its feet before it can really dive into the deep end where it belongs.

While I'd argue the semantics 'till I was blue in the face if I cared more, a friend of mine - who loves the show harder than I do - claims that it's "not anime", and really shouldn't be judged by the same metric any other piece of contemporary Japanese cartoons should be. It's so far removed from anything Japan typically creates, or even likes, that its only reasonable company are pieces of experimental French animation - .  It was a show literally created as a raised middle finger to expectations and even to the audience that would typically lap this up like 2D crack, and - particularly from a director who's made some popular and "traditionally" beautiful animation - it's a bold, crazy move. I respect it, even. But at the end of the day, it's - by and large - the thing I find myself torn over. The pacing I can deal with. The soundtrack I've come to love. But that sloppy, inconsistent rotoscoping? I've finished the show and I STILL don't know if I love it or hate it.

I won't praise Flowers of Evil for being "deep", because doing so would just make me a shit-bug: What I will say is that is successfully crafts a three dimensional portrait of an unconventional love-triangle/tragedy, and while the anime totally fails to cover the entire breadth of the story itself, it does a very unconventional and fascinating job of presenting those ideas none the less. It's a malformed experiment, released to the public without the budget or episode count to fully work... but if you can watch the final minutes of episode 7 and not think that alone was worth trying, I don't know what more could convince anyone.

In the end, Flowers of Evil is a totally unique, fascinating... but imperfect experience. It captured my fancy, it crushed my soul, and in the end, it gave me a lot to think about - not by way of piling in unnecessary symbolism, but by brutally rejecting it, and asking the viewer little more than to accept that broken people can simply be broken. Much like the grim, fatalistic relationship its lead cast shares together, there's something simultaneously hideous and beautiful about it, and my only wish was that this had been well received enough for the full storyline to run its course to the end of the Summer Festival. (That post-time skip bullshit afterward can fuck right off, thanks. Nope, I don't even care what Oshimi has up his sleeve, it should have ended at the Summer Festival.) But this it how it ends... not with a bang, or a whimper, but with confusion, fear, loathing and the promise of both more and nothing in the same shuddering caw. If nothing else, Flowers of Evil ends on the same uncomfortable and uncompromising note as its young antagonists; angry, alone, and unsure of what will happen now that he realizes how far past the lines of normalcy he's treading, and can't turn back without severe consequence. It's not exactly fun, but perhaps it's a fitting blue-ball finale for a story obsessed with the bleak hopelessness of adolescence. Whether or not you find that very notion to be a pretentious bag of bollocks is, I suppose, a personal call.

"Attention, shit-bugs!"

Fans of unusual, challenging animation as forms of expression are absolutely recommended to check out the anime on... ugh, Crunchy Roll, and pick it up on DVD/Blu-ray whenever Sentai Filmworks gets around to releasing it. For those curious to explore the diseased, violent mind of Japan's outliers in love - but aren't sure if they can take Arthouse pacing and generally unpleasant art design - might be better off buying Vertical's release of the original manga. Frankly, I'm in for both, but hold no delusions that most viewers or readers will even want to experience this more than once.

Do forgive this bit of poorly edited self-indulgence: I'm very much in the mood to post something more interesting than yet another complaint about Fist of Fury, and I'd rather post this while it's somewhat fresh and throbbing before I file it away forever.  Also, my fucking smoke alarm's battery died recently, so sleep has been... hit or miss, for the last two or three days.

Re-Animating A Stuart Gordon Classic

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Mediabook, you say!

The following info has been translated by my good friend Gurotaku from the CAPELIGHT PICTURES FACEBOOK page regarding their RE-ANIMATOR Blu-ray Special Edition:

RE-ANIMATOR will be a limited edition 3-disc set, including two Blu-ray discs and a DVD. The DVD and Blu-ray with both feature the extensively restored DIRECTOR'S CUT, and the second Blu-ray will include a completely restored INTEGRAL CUT, featuring several extended and deleted scenes that were used on TV and the edited "R-Rated" versions of the film, restored to their proper place. Germany has released the "Integral Version" on PAL DVD with a runtime of about 100 minutes, but how the less graphic 'alternate' takes have been re-intergrated into the uncensored version, I can't rightly say.

Capelight restored 45,000 frames by hand from the Master Positive print, and estimate having removed over 250,000 instances of print damage in the process. The original 35mm film grain will be presented "as naturally as is technically possible", and they've even gone out of their way to apologize for a handful of special effects generated on video that will look worse than the rest of the film (and always have). In short, unless they seriously screw this one up during authoring/encoding, it's going to be a keeper. I've never seen the "Integral Cut" myself - just the deleted scenes as a bonus feature lacking in context - but any remotely justified reason to re-watch one of Stuart Gordon's best horror films is fine by me.

Also of note, Capelight have evidently appealed the film's status of being on the German "Index" of banned and harmful material, meaning that this uncensored release can be sold anywhere over the counter. Not only is this great news for Capelight (who can sell a metric fuckton more copies in Germany), but it means you can import from Amazon Germany and other actual German shops at a decent discount, rather than waffling around them through DTM or similar Austrian/Belgian mail order sites. Also, the "wendecover" notice above that big-ass ugly FSK rating means it's either a sticker or a piece of paper affixed to the media book, and will be completely removable on the actual product. Thank Christ for that, because seriously, Germany is only a half-step behind those hilariously bad Aussie rating boxes that take up more of the package than the actual title of the film itself.

The release date is set for September 27th, and the MSRP is a surprisingly inexpensive 19.99 Euros. At this time a list of bonus material, region coding, and language option has not yet been released to the public. I personally wouldn't be surprised if a less expensive 1-disc BD in a regular case joins the marketplace a year down the road, as it did for ESCAPE FROM PRECINCT 13, but at these prices I'm not about to wait and see.

I'm curious what the full story on this restoration is, as (supposedly) Capelight had access to both the OCN and the AP. Maybe the positive elements were less damaged? With any luck, we'll get to see a restoration demo on the finished disc - I'd love nothing more than to know how much love and insanity went into cleaning up one of the more deserving pieces of grotesque black-comedy the mid 1980s spawned in that brief, beautiful period when the audience was just jaded enough that you could basically try fucking anything on the screen, and nobody would bat an eye if the MPAA shot it down because this new-fangled VHS technology meant you could release it anyway.



Before I forget to mention it, Brian Yuzna's SOCIETY is getting a German BD release the same day as Re-Animator. Can't say I'm quite as excited for Yuzna's grotesquely silly piece of not-Lovecraft-inspired social satire, but hell, I'll absolutely buy that for the 18 Euros they're asking. No further details, other than that it's a new 2K restoration just like Re-Animator and the upcoming Bride of Re-Animator BD.

And since Capelight's on my mind, it's worth noting that the German release of CHAINED is - to the best of my knowledge, at least - the only version of the film to include the uncensored execution scene included within the feature itself, rather than as a deleted scene. Again, I don't get a dime out of pointing you anywhere, so if you want it, go do it. Not for me. For you. And for Jennifer Lynch... seriously, that poor girl deserves a break.

Re-Extramator

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Capelight has announced the bonus features for their three-disc RE-ANIMATOR package, and in a somewhat unsurprising turn, it - for the most part - mirrors the extensive bonus features already found on previous Anchor Bay DVD/Image Blu-ray edition of the film:

* Audio Commentary with Director Stuart Godron

* Audio Commentary with Producer Brian Yuzna, Actors Jeffery Combs, Barbara Crampton, Robert Sampson and Bruce Abbot

* Anchor Bay's RE-ANIMATOR RESURRECTS feature-length retrospective documentary

* Interview with Screen Writer Dennis Paoli

* Interview with Composer Richard Band

* Interview with FANGORIA Editor Tony Timpone

* 16 Extended / Alternate Scenes + 1 Deleted Scene

* Music Analysis with composer Richard Band

* 5 TV Spots

* Original Trailer

Make no mistake, while I tend to think all available material should be included on a re-release, I'm not about to ask that anyone - much less Capelight, who have spent a fortune restoring the film itself - to produce new bonus features, particularly for a film that's had such a comprehensive coverage on all previous releases! I'm sure some fans will lament that there haven't been any "new" bonus features produced since the Anchor Bay re-release in 2007, but to put this into perspective this release probably has more minutes of relevant retrospective footage than fucking Blade Runner - and I dare any film made between 1980 and 2000 to have more interesting things to say about its production than that!

The following two bonuses were originally included on the Elite "Millennium Edition" DVD, but never made the jump to the various re-releases:

* 3 Multi-Angle Storyboard Comparisons

* Isolated Richard Band Score

It's my understanding that all of these bonus features will be on "Disc 1", and being in SD it shouldn't compromise the 86 minute long feature in any way.

There is one unexpected addition on Disc 2, however, and that's the presence of the TV VERSION. Don't get too excited - they've already said it's going to be an unrestored SD presentation - but as this is essentially the film with the more graphic footage swapped out for the deleted scenes, I don't blame them for not rolling out the red carpet for it. I don't think the TV version has ever been released on video in any official capacity, though the "R-Rated" cut (which both Yuzna and Gordon seem swift to disown) did surface briefly in American theaters and on Laserdisc, but not VHS for fuck knows what reason.

And now... we play the waiting game.

Bruce Lee's Game of Deception

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My response to the following, summarized.

According to AICN's review of Shout Factory's upcoming BRUCE LEE: THE LEGACY box set:

This set was to release on Tuesday, August 6, but Shout Factory has pushed back that date to September 17. The company had to recall the set due to a labeling error on two of the discs. If you got an early copy of the set, I understand that Shout will replace the mislabeled discs for you if you contact them.

Also, there was some question as to the quality of the source material used for the Blu-rays. I spoke with a company representative on Thursday about the masters used for this set and was assured the original content provided by Fortune Star Entertainment was the best available and the same used for the Bruce Lee Blu's released a few years ago in Hong Kong. Unfortunately, we may never get the beautifully restored, pristine versions of Lee's Hong Kong films that his legacy deserves. The master reels simply haven't been properly archived and preserved.

I understand that John Ary's just toting the bullshit he's been fed on a website that's given positive reviews of shitty upscales before, but the fact that anyone thinks the multitude of available screenshots for THE BIG BOSS, FIST OF FURY and WAY OF THE DRAGON are anything but upsampled SD masters makes me want to kick things and howl like a maniac. Even if they were objectively stating that they didn't think it looked that bad I'd be less ready to put my fist through a window, but the bold, bullshit claim that it's not only "the best available" but "the same [masters] released a few years ago in Hong Kong" - well, that's a blatant lie. Love or loathe those transfers all you like, but they are not the same thing released in Hong Kong - they're not even close.

In short: Fuck Fortune Star for having sent shitty upscales in the first place, Fuck Shout Factory for not having caught it despite knowing that Fortune Star is notoriously full of not giving two shits about their own product, Fuck Fotokem for not doing the sensible thing and stealing the actual BD encodes off the Japanese box set*, and Double Fuck Cliff MacMillan for lying to our faces about the whole thing. Pretty much fuck everybody on this one - with the exception of "Old Pang Yau", who's contributions would have otherwise made this the single most comprehensive presentation of these films ever released. C'mon, I'm angry, not inhuman.

These movies have a long, convoluted and somewhat suicide-inducing history on home video, and there is no reason, no reason at all that this SHOULDN'T be the last release any sane human being would ever need... and yet, here we are seeing mother fucking Ain't It Cool News confirming that "there's nothing to see here, move along people".


 Or, to quote Bantam Rooster...

Oh, what's that? Ripping an existing Blu-ray would be a breach of contract due to using unauthorized materials? Well Fortune Star already beat you to it, and more importantly if they claim they did send you the HD masters, they'd have no recourse to try and sue you if you used actual HD content.

And yes, sadly the Blu-ray transfers themselves would be 8-bit/4:2:0 and have some level of compression artifacts. But we're talking about recompressing a BD encode for BD - the loss from one generation to another would be pretty minimal, and you can bet your ass the compression issues would be a drop in the bucket compared to the pile of lukewarm NTSC butthole we've actually been handed.

Shout Factory usually does good to excellent work, and I'm going to continue to support them when they earn it. It's just a shame this ridiculous incident has taught us we can't always assume they've got this shit covered.

Galilei Barrasters: Yasuomi UMETSU Returns

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What's that? Wizards that make coffee? I'm in!

Above is a 45 second teaser for WIZARD BARRISTERS: VALVE MAGICIAN CECIL / ウィザード・バリスターズ〜弁魔士セシル, which will be the director's second original project since the rather disappointing KITE LIBERATOR from 2008. All of the director's trademarks - unique and somewhat doll-like character designs, completely over the top action, cute incidental characters and a flash of nudity (hardcore or otherwise) - are in full force, and it leaves me absolutely thrilled to see Umetsu doing something that... y'know, isn't the last 20 minutes of that Dante's Inferno game tie-in trainwreck project. It's set for a 2014 release, and if this trailer is even remotely true - an action packed courtroom drama about magical shenanigans?! -  I couldn't be more excited.




But first we're getting... this?!

I honestly have no idea what to make of GALILEI DONNA ~ Storia di tre sorelle a caccia di un mistero. If I'm not mistaken this is Canoli for "Women of Galilei: A Tale of Three Mystery Hunting Sisters", but I barely know my Gialli from my Telifoni Bianchi, so I'll let someone more qualified make that distinction. Umetsu is evidently both the original creator of the show's premise and set to direct the series, but as you can see, the character designs - by none other than WORKING! character designer Shingo ADACHI - couldn't be much further removed from Umetsu's usual pulp-action aesthetic. At this point I don't know diddly about the show, so while I'm curious, I'm going to need at least a goddamn plot summary before I get excited about anything. At least Mrs. Kentai thinks it looks friggin' adorable.

 I'll point out that it's part of the "Noitanima" (that's "Animation" spelled backwards in Katakana) block, which was at one point dedicated to creating unique, original works that might not have appealed to the typical otaku audience, and have shown some really inspiring and fantastic programming including Eden of the East, Tatami Galaxy, Moyashimon and my beloved Wandering Son, so it's entirely possible that whatever you think this show might be, you're completely wrong. Of course, they've also played Black Rock Shooter, Guilty Crown and Katanagatari in more recent years, so for all we know this will be to sell us Nendoroids and hug pillows. In short, nobody fuck'n knows anything yet, which keeps me firmly in the "not sure if want" category until something besides a few pretty character sheets I wasn't expecting can convince me otherwise.

Truth be told, I'm actually a little surprised how excited I was to see a new piece of Umetsu animation - brief and out of context as it was. Make no mistake, PRESENCE is an absolute masterpiece, and while I'm sure the controversy will always eclipse the work itself, so is A KITE... I happen to think the uncut version packs a hell of a bigger impact, but I won't deny that the edited version lets in an audience that otherwise wouldn't have given it the time of day, and while I think it castrates one of the most interesting questions the story brings up (effectively, "How would LEON have gone down if Jean Reno were the villain?"), if the R-15 Director's Edit means more people will actually watch Kite, I won't dismiss it completely. MEZZO FORTE is an exceptionally great little OVA and a surprisingly fun expansion on Umetsu's violent urban universe, it's just not quite as good as Kite, and so goddamn few things are that's hardly an insult.

The death knell of the OVA being usurped by limited-run TV series basically hobbled the MEZZO TV series, which honestly isn't terrible, it just starts off with an incredible, theatrical level first episode and then hits rock bottom hard, leaving a series that runs out of steam just as quickly as it runs out of money. It's watchable, but it's not good, and as Umetsu hasn't touched a TV series since I'm still wary that these could both suck, too. Then again, his follow up OVA - KITE LIBERATOR - was unfettered by budgetary or censorship constraints, and it was kind of a cluster in its own right. Had it been directed by almost anyone else as an original concept I'd likely have thought it was slightly above average, but as a successor to his previous works, it falls incredibly flat. Apparently the producer behind the project, John Sirabella of Media Blasters, was no happier with the results than most of its audience... I guess if anything about Liberator makes me smile it's that it managed to make the head of one of the single most infuriating licensors in North America that much more miserable.

That said... well, I fell in love with Umetsu for more than his slow-motion bullet explosions and psuedo-legal child pornography (though neither of those things really hurt, either). The man is a visual artist with a uniquely beautiful aesthetic that's unique and instantly eye-catching, and as a technical animator his understanding about the way the human body moves - particularly in reference to action set pieces like gunplay - is some of the absolute best in the business. In short, even when Umetsu makes crap at least he goes all the way with it, and if his last two "personal" projects have been the victim of circumstance it doesn't for a moment persuade me to assume he doesn't still have an exceptional anime series left in him.

This left me wondering, are there any anime directors I'm legitimately excited to see new works from? There's always Akiyuki SHINBOU, certainly, but he's a directorial shotgun; he's either a direct face-shredding hit (Puella Magi Madoka Magica), or a big bang and a lot of dust in the wind (Dance in the Vampire Bund). Tetsuro ARAKI has an impressive enough pedigree that I try my best to keep tabs on him, but it took half a dozen episodes of Attack on Titan to make me give a shit, and if this wasn't a guy I already loved thanks to stuff like Death Note and Kurozuka, I probably would have given up before the lead character turns into a 50 foot cannibal version of The Incredible Hulk. Cowboy Bebop was so damn good we're still lusting for it 15 years later, but Shinichiro WATANABE came back with Kids on the Slope, and I couldn't have cared less - maybe that upcoming Space Dandy will do it for me, but I honestly have no clue. The guys who have directed my absolute favorite titles from the past few years - Shigeyasu YAMAUCHI of Casshern Sins, and Hiroshi HAMASAKI of Shuguri: Death Frenzy - have had no shortage of work since, they simply haven't done much else that's appealed to me, thematically or aesthetically speaking... though I probably should give Steins;Gate a chance, weak animation quality or not. That, of course is a flaw in my expecting a director who made something I like to consistently make that thing - whatever it might be - over other things, but... it's still frustrating. The best I can do is skim, see what looks interesting and go from there.

On the other hand, throwing darts and seeing what sticks has recently brought WataMote to my attention. What's not to love about a sitcom focused on social anxiety and self-hatred? Where the joke isn't the self-insert character saying "I seriously hate my life. I should just kill myself." isn't the joke, but her annoyed sibling's attempts to get her to fuck the hell off, are? (Seriously though, pre-order a pound of prozac if any of that sounds like it might feel a bit too... familiar.)

Friends, I ask you: What directors do you look forward to announcing a new project? What creators get your blood boiling, your expectations soaring? I don't for a second think that Japanese animation has gotten any less interesting or consistent than it's ever been - selective memory has a way of convincing people that everything from any given period was good, and brother is that a load of horseshit - but I am finding precious few directors or even studios who consistently give me something that's legitimately fascinating. I don't mind exploring, stumbling on some lemons and walking away with a few peaches. I just wish I had a few names I should look forward to consistently, the same way I do with live action material.
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